Past, Present, Future
by Lysi Marie
Summary: Athena Romanos is a young LT who has been given a promising position upon the Enterprise. Unbeknownst to all others, her past may cause a surprise to all who know a certain Vulcan, were it to be uncovered.
1. Chapter 1

**Written by: Lysi Marie**

**Chapter One**

_The vid-screen was frozen upon his face. The words he had spoken were emotionless, though his eyes betrayed him. She knew him well enough to know that he was breaking inside. She smiled weakly, the tears streaming down her face. Their relationship was over. He was away on the newest ship to join the Federation, and she was stuck on Earth at the academy. Their relationship had been a secret and she had no-one to comfort her. _

_The last words he said to her insisted that this was what was best for both of them._

_She knew he was right._

_But that didn't take away the pain._

_She shut the vid-screen off, and laid on her bed. Her roommate was away for the night, which relieved the young girl. She allowed her thoughts to wonder freely, which led to her tears flowing constantly._

_You should have known this was coming..._

_He's a Vulcan..._

_And you're Human..._

_He's a First Officer..._

_And you're a Cadet..._

_It was never meant to be..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

Athena sat up from her bed, placing her head in her hands. Her memories from five years ago had been flooding her dreams recently, which led to her losing many hours of sleep. She glanced over at the clock, which read that it was very early in the morning. She knew if she stayed in her quarters that she would spend the rest of her evening tossing and turning in her bed as she tried to lock up her thoughts. She decided to rise and prepare for the coming day. After showering and grooming herself, she slid into her blue uniform.

After exiting her quarters, she walked through the empty halls to the crew's recreation area and sat at the piano. She began to play idly, her thoughts flowing back to the man that continued to hold her heart. Despite her desperate attempts to change the way she felt about him, her heart continued to love him. She knew he was still on the same ship, part of the same crew, and she also knew that she was to be placed into that crew.

When she learned of her new assignment three weeks ago, her heart both jumped and sank. She felt both nervous and livid. Her mother assured her that it was going to be a challenging assignment, and that she would not be disappointed. However, being on a ship with the man who broke her heart for the next five years was not something she was truly looking forward to. Especially since there was a small chance that her assignment would involve working with him. She knew the crew of the Enterprise, and her placement would be either with him or Doctor Leonard McCoy. She had met McCoy years ago while she was in academy, and had kept in touch with him throughout the years. She knew of their travels, the things they had encountered, and the dangers they all had perservered through.

She supposed that his vid transmissions had kept a part of her love for his comrade going, as he spoke of him frequently. She worried about Spock, knowing she shouldn't. She wondered if he ever thought of her. If he did, did he still love her? Or had he allowed his Vulcan half to extinguish any of that emotion?

She senced a presence behind her causing her to turn. Behind her was her mother, Admiral Romanos, the first female Admiral in Star Fleet. She had her hands tucked behind her back, and her eyebrow quirked. "Why are you awake this early?"

Athena shrugged a shoulder as she continued to play. "I can't sleep."

Her mother chuckled and sat beside her. "Excited?"

"Hardly." she replied, her voice bland.

"You mean to tell me that my daughter is not excited about being placed on an important assignment on the most advanced starship in the Federation's Fleet?" she asked, amazed.

Athena knew she needed to cover her answer. "I mearly nervous Mom. I'm not entirely sure what my assignment is, and I'm worried that I'll let you down."

The Admiral stilled her daughters hands and held them in her own. "No matter what you do, I will always be proud of you."

Athena quirked an eyebrow.

"As long as you don't betray the Federation." she added.

She smiled and squeezed her mother's hands. "Thanks Mom."

"Of course Athena. Now, since you're up, I think you should report to your post. It doesn't hurt to begin an assignment early." she said, authority filling her voice.

She nodded and walked away after saluting her mother with a smile on her face. There wasn't much time until the rendezvous with the Enterprise. She was going to be facing Mr. Spock soon. The man who broke her heart, but still held the pieces.

* * *

><p>The Vulcan was lying in his bed, his chest exposed from the sheets. His arms were crossed behind his head, and his eyes were closed. He had quieted his thoughts so that he could rest easily, though having heard about the Enterprise's newest addition that was about to arrive, threatened that silence.<p>

He had thought of Athena often throughout the years. He had even recorded many vid messages to send to her, but they continued to pile up in his safe. His emotions were hard to keep control of when he thought of her. He had done well upon learning of her transfer, merely acting as though he barely remembered her. But oh, how he remembered. He could bring up every feature of her in his mind. The way her skin felt beneath his fingertips, the way her lips felt against his, the pain at having to let her go. He knew she would be better for it. He could never treat her like a human mate would. He couldn't sympathize with her when hardships came. He couldn't laugh with her, cry with her, or even have something humans called an argument. He would always be logical. And she would always be emotional.

Spock opened his dark eyes and sat up. He moved to his safe, entered the combination, and searched through its contents. He felt the round object hidden in the back, and pulled it out. He sat at his desk and laid the holo projector upon it's surface. He clicked a blue button, and the holo began to project images of Athena. He had taken many holos of her when he learned he would be leaving on the Enterprise for a five year journey. He knew he would have to end their relationship, but he found himself unable to tell her.

It wasn't until the Enterprise began their mission, that he sent her a vid message. He didn't expect a reply, and none was given.

Spock shut the holo off, and returned it to its hiding place. He showered and dressed for his upcoming post on the bridge. Though he wasn't due for another four hours, the Vulcan walked to the elevator and relieved his replacement early. Maybe some work would keep his mind off of the woman that continued to thwart his efforts to control his emotions.

The two starships sat at a standstill. Communications were open, and Captain James T. Kirk and Admiral Amelia Romanos were having a visual conference. Athena was visible in the screen, and she did her best to keep her attention focused on the conversation. Spock was not in sight, but on occasion, she could hear his voice speaking in Vulcan. It had been so long since she had heard the way he spoke. She felt her heart stop beating the first time, and when he spoke again, although muted, her stomach quenched in anger. She hated the way he made her feel. Despite the feelings she had locked up within herself, she wanted nothing to do with the Vulcan.

Spock was having similar feelings. He had to restrain himself from turning to the large vid screen, knowing she was standing in sight. He tried his best to continue his work, muttering things to himself in Vulcan so that his companions wouldn't understand him. It was when Jim addressed the young lieutenant that Spock nearly allowed himself to show emotion.

"We're glad to have you come aboard Lieutenant."

"Thank you Captain. I'm looking forward to working with your crew." she replied, her voice serious.

They exchanged closing plesantries and the vid screen shut off.

"Spock, will you join me to greet our new lieutenant?" Jim said, turning to his friend.

The Vulcan nodded, and followed his Captain to the elevator. They shared a quiet silence, Spock trying to do his best to meditate and stop the emotions that were flooding through him. "Spock, something wrong?"

"Quite the opposite Captain. I believe I am doing quite well by your standards." he replied, finally sealing all emotions away.

"Glad to hear it."

The two stepped off the elevator and entered the Transporter room. "Is the Lieutenant ready?" Kirk asked the engineering tech.

"Yes sir."

"Energize."

Within moments, the young lieutenant was materialized before them, standing upon the platform. The woman glanced at Spock for just a moment, before directing her attention at the Captain. "Welcome aboard Lieutenant Romanos."

"Thank you Captain. It's an honor to be serving with you." she replied, steping down to shake Kirk's hand.

"Likewise Lieutenant. This is my First Officer, Mr. Spock." he said, turning to his Vulcan friend.

Athena nodded at him, her eyes lingering upon his own for a brief moment before turning back to the Captain. "I was wondering if you would inform me of my complete assignment Captain. My mother told me only the bare basics." she said, following him throughout the corridors of the Enterprise.

"I'm afraid that information will be given tonight at dinner. If you would like to join Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, Engineer Scott and myself tonight that is."

The young woman took a brief silent breath before replying. "I would like that."

"Excellent. I'll-"

A hailing sound filled the hall the trio stood in. "Captain Kirk, please respond."

Kirk looked to Spock and headed to the intercom. "Kirk here."

"The Admiral is wishing to speak with you. She asks to speak with you in private." Uhura's voice replied.

"Transmit her into my quarters. I'll be there momentarily." he replied, shutting the intercom off and turning to the two beside him.

"If you'll excuse me, I have to go reply to your mother. Spock, please show the Lieutenant to her quarters."

When the Captain was gone, and it was just the two standing alone in the corridor, Athena turned to him. "Well Mr. Spock. I would like to set my bags down if you don't mind."

Spock turned to her, as though he just realized she was there. "Of course. Follow me." he said, taking a few of her bags himself.

They walked in silence through the Enterprise, both completely wrapped up in their thoughts. Athena didn't know what to say to him without losing her temper, and Spock was logically staying quiet to avoid evoking an emotional responce. They remained that way until they reached the turbo lift. Athena knew she couldn't keep avoiding conversation with him for the next five years, and decided to put her personal feelings aside. "Mr. Spock," she said, her voice quiet.

He turned to her in the small space, his eyes betraying his internal conflict. _So he does have hard feelings about what happened between us,_ she thought. She turned her head down, so as not to betray her own self. "How has work on the Enterprise been treating you?" she asked.

"Quite well Lieutenant. And your work? I heard rumors that you had nearly beaten all of my scores at the academy."

Athena smiled and turned to him. "I did have a good tutor."

Spock looked at her, longing to touch her just for a moment, but was interrupted by the turbo lift opening its doors, revealing their destination. The lieutenant turned and looked down the corridor. "Are these the dormitories?" she asked, beginning to walk without her Vulcan companion.

"Indeed. I believe you will be located at room 3F 132." he said, escorting her down the hall.

On the way, Athena noticed that they had passed his own quarters. She wondered if the closeness of their rooms was mere coincidence. She followed Spock into her room, and placed her bags upon her bed. "Thank you Mr. Spock. I think I would have gotten lost trying to find my way down here alone." she said, a small laugh escaping her.

"You are welcome Lieutenant. Would you-"

Athena turned her head around, looking for the intercom in her room that had just began hailing. "Commander Spock? Commander Spock come in." Captain Kirk's voice filled the room.

Spock showed her the console on her desk that held the intercom and responded to the Captain. "Spock, I would like for you to meet me in the briefing room. McCoy and Scotty are already on their way."

"Understood Captain." he replied.

"Excuse me Lieutenant."

Before Athena could say a word, the Vulcan was out of her room and nearly half way down the corridor to the turbo lift. She watched him go, and wondered why he was so eager to be away from her. _And just what was he going to ask me?_

* * *

><p>A loud buzz awoke the young woman sleeping upon her bed. She sat up and stretched before heading to the door of her quarters. "Who is it?" she asked.<p>

"It's your dear old boyfriend Miss Athena." a southern voice called, a smile very apparent in his voice.

Athena opened her door quickly, her smile warm. "McCoy. It's been so long." she said, giving her friend a hug.

"It's nice to see you too. How've you been kiddo?" he asked, sitting at her desk.

"All right. Although I still have no idea what I'm doing on this ship." she admitted, leaning against the edge of the table.

"Aw cheer up. It can't be all that bad." he said. "If you don't mind, I'd like to escort you to dinner tonight."

Athena laughed. "I would greatly appreciate it. I don't know the layout of the Enterprise yet. Is she similiar to the Constellation?" she asked, walking to her bathroom to freshen her hair and face.

"Almost. There's a few minor details that are different, but nothing that should interfere with your work upon her."

It wasn't long before Athena stepped out of her bathroom and stood before the doctor. "I'm ready whenever you are." she said.

"Come on Kid." he said, extending his arm for her to take.

The two talked as they made their way to meet the rest of their dining party, reflecting on the past few years and their work. When they entered the room, Captain Kirk and Scotty were waiting for them. Athena noticed that Spock was late, which was very unusual. Having known him as well as she did, Spock was the last person in the Federation that would be late for anything. She ignored her thoughts on the matter, and allowed herself to enjoy conversations with the Captain and Scotty, who was currently entertaining her with some tales of Scotland.

"Oh, Scotty. You speak of Scotland as though it were paradise." she said, her smile warming the gentleman's heart. "Will you take me there someday?" she added, giving him a playful wink.

It was then that the Commanding Officer decided to make his entrance. Athena looked up at him, and saw that he had indeed heard her flirtation with his friend. She ignored him, and turned her attention back to Scotty, who knew she was just kidding around, and agreed to her question. "Aye, dearie. I will take you there one day."

"Mr. Spock." Kirk said, standing to greet his friend, "You're quite late. What kept you?"

"Lab analysis." was all the Science Officer would say.

Athena watched him out of the corner of her eye as they all began to eat. McCoy and Scotty kept most of the conversation going, each playfully flirting with the young lieutenant, which made Athena notice Spocks behavior become more solem and withdrawn. However, she played along with the doctor and engineer, enjoying their company and laughing to the point of tears. "Gentlemen, you're going to make me split in half if you continue with your conversation." she said, giving the two a small wink.

The two smiled, evidently proud of themselves, and she turned her attention to the Vulcan sitting near her. "Mr. Spock, you've been quiet most of this evening."

Spock was not expecting her to address him. In fact, he was completely unprepared for it. He had been spending most of the evening meditating silently as he ate, so he could remain under control. "Indeed. I simply see no need to interrupt your conversation. You all seem to be enjoying it. I assume my logical view on things would seem... as you would put it, annoying."

Athena smiled, and purposefully placed her hand upon his. "I highly doubt that. I would like to have such a logical conversation." she said, her eyes challenging him.

He quirked an eyebrow, and accepted her challenge. "I see. Then would you mind explaining to me why you would permit such illogical behavior from both the good doctor and our chief engineer? I am completely oblivious to any reasonings why you continue to engage in this."

Internally, Athena realized that he was slightly upset with her. She smirked. "To enjoy it. I admit, there is no logic in many human conversations, however if we humans were nothing but logic, I would predict that down the line, we would end up completely and irrevocably unable to live life further. I firmly believe that laughter and humor are vital parts of human biology which keep us healthy and further our life span."

"You always did." he whispered in Vulcan, barely audible for her to hear.

Athena smiled, and accepted her victory. "I say Miss Athena, that's the first time I've ever seen Spock completely baffled as to an answer." McCoy said, interrupting their logical conversation.

"Quite the contrary doctor. I merely have no logical response to give her."

McCoy scowled. "Always have to have the last word." he grumbled, rolling his eyes.

Athena giggled, and knew she was going to enjoy serving on the Enterprise. She looked across the round table to the Captain, who himself was smiling. "Excuse me Captain. I don't mean to be overbearing in conversation, but you did say you would inform me of my assignment after dinner."

Kirk nodded, and stood from the table. "Indeed I did. As you know, you've been assigned to work on the Enterprise as we take on yet another five year mission to further explore the galaxy. I have been completely informed of your assignment by your mother and the rest of the Admiralty Board. It is because of your vast intelligence, ability to adapt to any situation, and your high skill in scientific persuits, that they have come to the conclusion that you will begin to study directly beneath Mr. Spock and learn all you can from him in order to further your knowledge and further become a valuable crewmember aboard any Federation Starship."

Within moments, all the blood fell from Athena's face, and she turned to Spock, who had apparently been informed earlier. She quickly turned back to the Captain, and made herself appear pleased. "I am honored. And suprised. I thought that with all my medical training that I would be working with Doctor McCoy."

"It was a very difficult decision for the Admirals to make. But your mother remembered your days in the Academy when you were so involved with Science and how you had mentioned that one of your goals was to be the best in Science training. She wanted me to tell you that this is her way of helping you achieve that goal." Kirk continued.

Athena remembered those days. She had that goal back while she and Spock were still having their relationship. "Thank you Captain. If you don't mind, I would like to return to my room to send a vid message to my mother." she said, standing from her seat.

Kirk nodded and Athena all but ran from the room. McCoy knitted his eyebrows together, then shook his head. "Not exactly the reaction I thought she would have." he said, standing next to his friend.

"Me either." Kirk added.

As the two talked with Scotty, none of them noticed that their Vulcan friend had slipped away from the room.

* * *

><p>Athena sat at her desk, her aching head cradled in her hands. "Not again." she muttered, letting her head fall to the desk in a loud thump.<p>

She groaned, and sat up. "That wasn't very smart." she mumbled.

A loud ring furthered the pain in her head, which alerted her that someone wished to enter. She stood and walked to the door. She opened it and saw Spock standing before her. Athena sighed and walked back, allowing him to enter. She slumped back into her chair and laid her head upon her desk...gently this time.

Spock remained quiet, taking a moment to admire the beauty that sat before him. Her dark wavy hair was draped against her pale skin, hiding her light blue eyes from him. Her breathing was slow, and he knew she was deeply stressed. He wondered briefly if she had dropped her head to the desk earlier. He knew she was prone to do that.

"Lieutenant." he addressed, standing just inside the room.

"Go ahead Spock. Tell me what you want." she said, her voice muffled.

"Athena."

It was then that she looked up at him in shock. He spoke to her with such tenderness that she had forgotten he possessed. "I had no idea that you were going to be assigned to work with me until this afternoon."

She nodded, and stood from her seat. "I hate to say this, but it is the most logical assignment for me to have." she sighed.

"If you wish."

Athena nodded again, this time a smile on her face. "I do. I'm amazed that Star Fleet has this much interest in me. I did the best I could in the academy so no one would say that I got through it because my mother's an admiral. I wanted to be the best I could be, and prove it to myself."

"Have you?"

She looked up at him, her blue eyes confused. "...I don't know." she whispered.

Spock felt the same pain he did when he sent her his last vid message. He wanted to reach out to her, but knew she would not appreciate it. He knew she was upset to be working with him, and even though it truly did not make complete sense to him, he understood. "I have informed communications that any time I am asked to be anywhere, you are to be informed and meet me there. That includes my work on the bridge and away missions unless there is cause for you not to be."

"I understand."

He hesitated for a moment then turned to leave. "Spock?" she called, reaching out to him.

He stopped, and turned again to look at her, his brow quirked.

"I..." she stopped and sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Spock left her room, and Athena fell into her bed. "Why did it have to be Spock?" she whispered, her mind battling between jumping for joy and castrating every male Admiral.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Just when you thought I was dead, here I have come back to life in the fanfic world! I know starting a new story isn't what most of you had in mind, especially when Dark Chocolate has yet to be finished, but this is what I do. I would appreciate any reviews since this is my first attempt at a Star Trek fiction, and I am very, very new to the fandom. Thank my new husband for that! haha!**

**I do have a few more chapters completed, and I am working without a beta, so please be patient with me, especially since I don't have internet. It may take a while between updates, and that would be the reason. **

**Take care, and let me know what you think!**

**-Lysi Marie**


	2. Chapter 2

**Written by Lysi Marie**

**Chapter Two**

_"Jim-"_

_Spock turned to Bones, stoping the Doctor from moving further to disrupt the sleeping Captain. "Oh, thank heavens. Sleeping at last." Bones said, relieved that his friend had finally given into the urge._

_"Your report, Doctor?" Spock said._

_"Oh, those tricorder readings on Mr. Flint are finally correlated. He's dying." Spock was slightly suprised. "See, Flint, in leaving Earth, with all of its complex fields within which he was formed, sacrificed immortality. He'll live the remainder of a normal lifespan than die."_

_"Oh that day, I shall mourn." The Vulcan was sincere in his words. The greatest man he had ever met and the only one who sparked that slight emotion of envy. "Does he know?"_

_Bones bounced slightly on the balls of his feet. "Yes, I told him myself. He intends to devote the remainder of his years and great abilities to the improvement of the human condition. And who knows what he might come up with?"_

_"Indeed."_

_The Doctor sighed, "Well, I guess that's all. I can tell Jim later... or you can. Considering his opponent's longevity, truly an eternal triangle."_

_Spock nodded in agreement, having known the feeling Jim was enduring all too well. "You wouldn't understand that, would you, Spock?"_

_The Vulcan turned to his friend, his eyes quizzical. "You see, I feel sorrier for you than I do for him, because you'll never know the things that love can drive a man to..."_

_Spock quirked his eyebrow, wondering just how the Doctor was so sure of this. "The ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate chances, the glorious failures, the glorious victories. All of these things you'll never know, simply because the word "love" isn't written into your book." Bones continued._

_He nodded, giving the illusion of understanding, but how wrong McCoy was. He knew every one of those things that love drives a man to... He had experienced all of them with his Athena nearly four years ago. "Good night, Spock."_

_"Good night, Doctor."_

_Bomes hesitated for a moment, "I do wish he could forget her." he said, mainly to himself._

_Spock nodded slightly and returned to his thoughts. The ecstasy of he and Athena's first kiss, the miseries of their constant misunderstandings between logic and emotion, the broken rule of relations between a superior officer and a cadet, that desperate chance of revealing their secret, the glorious failure of their relationship. He looked over at his Captain and more importantly, his friend. Spock would never be able to forget Athena and the love they once shared, but he could let Jim forget. He moved over silently, placed his hand upon his friend's head and began. _

_"Forget."_

* * *

><p>It had been nearly three weeks since Athena and Spock had begun their work together, and they had accomplished much. The two of them, despite Athena's animosity and Spock's logic, had been able to work together without stirring up any ill feelings. Athena had decided long ago not to even acknowledge their previous relationship except for in the privacy of her quarters. She didn't know how many nights she had spent crying angrily before she fell asleep. For his part, Spock had barely slept at all. He usually spent his evenings meditating so he could keep his emotions in check. Only a handful of times had he given in, and spent that time watching the holos he had of her.<p>

The two were working on the bridge, Athena was scanning space, a task Spock had handed to her to help familiarize her with the basic controls. Spock was watching closely, ensuring that she was working properly. She groaned, and looked up at her superior. "I'm telling you Spock, there's nothing out there."

Her only answer was the quirk of an eyebrow, which caused Athena to turn back to the scanner. She knew by now just what that meant. "Keep working Athena. There will be something soon." she muttered, her voice speaking Vulcan fluently.

Spock was impressed. She had learned his language. He turned his back to all those on the bridge, and began speaking quietly. "You've learned Vulcan?"

Athena turned her head from the scanner to him for a moment. "Suprised?"

He was. However, he wasn't about to admit this. She returned to the scanner, hoping that something would come up. She had been scanning for nearly two hours, and wondered if space really was this empty. "Spock?" she asked, her eyes still focused.

"Yes Lieutenant?"

"Is it truly possible for space to be this void? We've been scanning for hours and have yet to find something. What exactly am I looking for?"

If Spock was human, he would have chuckled. "Anything abnormal or normal Lieutenant. I do not understand your uneasiness. If you wish, I will take over for now."

Athena nodded, and sat in the chair as Spock began scanning. Her mind started working further, and she turned to him. "Spock, if we're out exploring the galaxy, how do we know if something is abnormal or normal? Who are we to decide that fact?"

Spock glanced at her and then back at the scanner. He thought for a moment, and then stood back from the instrument. He wasn't sure. "That is quite a logical question Lieutenant. And one that I do not have an answer for."

"This is indeed a day to be kept in history." McCoy's voice said, having listened to their conversation since coming upon the bridge. "Spock doesn't have an answer!"

Athena laughed quietly, knowing how difficult it was to perplex their Vulcan friend. "It took me three weeks to get this far McCoy, imagine what I can do in a few months." she joked, turning back to her duties.

As Spock, McCoy and Captain Kirk spoke, she began scanning again, her mind not fully paying attention. She thought about the days before Spock left her. The small trip they secretly made up to a beach one weekend... The way Spock used to look at her... And how easy it was back then to break through his barriers and make him smile.

It had taken almost the entire length of their relationship, but she had succeeded. He smiled at her for the first time that weekend. And that was the last time she saw it. His eyes were so alive and joyful.

She shook her head, clearing her thoughts, and turned back to look over at him. His eyes met hers from across the bridge, and she instantly looked away. _Caught red-handed._ She thought, moving back to work.

_I hate it when he makes me feel this way._

_He's Vulcan, and I need to accept that fact._

_He's had other women since you though..._

_Maybe he could..._

_No Athena..._

_Those were different circumstances..._

_He'll never smile for you again..._

* * *

><p>The crew's recreation area was empty, and Athena sat at the lonely piano, her hand idly playing a few notes, here and there. She had been off duty for a few hours, and it was nearly midnight. She would be the first to admit that she was drunk. She wanted to forget <em>him<em>. And it seemed that rum was the answer for tonight. She was greatful that everyone who wasn't on duty was asleep. She didn't want anyone to see her in this conditon. Drunker than a skunk, and here she was, trying to get Spock off her mind. She despised the fact that her heart was so set upon the Vulcan, and that her mind was beginning to go along with it. The time they spent together had been enjoyable, and they had a few conversations discussing logic over emotion, but never anything about their previous life together. Athena wondered if he even remembered what they shared.

Her heart began overtaking her, and she began to play the piano more, expressing words she couldn't verbalize. She didn't notice that Spock had joined her in the room, and that he was holding his Vulcan harp. He sat near her, and began plucking a few strings here and there, trying to immerge himself into her song. Athena recognized his style of playing, and smiled. Her song adapted to involve him, and Spock noticed. A few stray crew members that were performing their duties slowed as they walked by, enjoying the song they heard. McCoy was heading from Sick Bay to his quarters to get some sleep, when he walked by the recreation area. He stopped, and stood in the doorway, watching the scene unfold. His curiosity was piqued, and he continued to watch. The young lieutenant was playing passionately, her entire body involved in the music. Spock, on the other hand, while he was playing beautifully, his attention was not involved in the song... Rather, his eyes were focused on the woman sitting before him. McCoy sighed, blamed what he was seeing on tiredness and retreated to his room.

The music ended softly, both musicians eyes closed, savoring every last note. A few moments passed before either one of them moved, both lost within their thoughts. Athena slid off the bench, and walked toward Spock. She stood before him briefly, then sat next to him. He rested his harp upon the table, and folded his hands in his lap. He had been avoiding personal conversation, and knew it. However, he didn't think having this conversation while she was intoxicated was truly the best idea. He wondered if he should leave, but knew she wouldn't appreciate this act, and most likely would follow him. Instead he sat there, observing her actions. She sat quietly, her eyes focused on the musical instrument lying on the table. He knew her mind was working overtime, trying to get her thoughts in order. Her blue eyes were shifting slightly, indicating that she was debating having this conversation. Spock didn't want to begin and interupt her thoughts. He knew how she worked, and he had already said all he could over five years ago.

Finally, Athena looked up at him, her eyes sad. "Why Spock?" was all she said.

He felt a deep pain in his heart. Her pale blue eyes always had this effect upon him. He looked away from her, not truly knowing what to say. She sighed. "I have thought about it for so many years. I know you didn't want to hurt me, but you still are Spock. Do you know how difficult it is for me to even be beside you? To hear your voice? To know that you can't love me like you used to?"

Her voice had begun to crack, which alerted Spock to her coming tears. It was one of the few things that he couldn't bear. But before he could speak, she continued. "I have lost count of how many nights I have cried myself to sleep because of you. I can't tell you how often I have thought of you, remembered our times together."

She chuckled wearily, "You even smiled for me Spock. Right before you left me for this... how was it you said it? I believe it was 'rare opportunity'? How could you even say that to me?" she said, her voice become angry.

"What is a rare opportunity anyway?" she ranted, her drunkeness affecting her mind.

Again, Spock was speechless. He had only seen Athena like this once before, although the results had been much more... pleasant. "Regardless, I think I deserve a better explaination than having been dumped for a rare opportunity upon a Star Fleet ship. Oh, and forget the 'I can't emotionally support you' speech. I know you're logical, but you do have a capacity for love. You proved that to me many... many times."

He sat there, avoiding looking at her. He didn't have the explaination she desired. He couldn't tell her how he still cared for her. Not now while she was intoxicated, and wouldn't remember half the night. He stood, and before she could interrupt him, he did one thing he had promised long ago to never do. He gave her a Vulcan neck pinch. Athena slumped in her chair, and Spock lifted her into his arms. He walked through the corridors, and although he recieved looks of curiosity, he did not acknowledge them. He took Athena to her quarters, and laid her upon her bed. He knew he should be somewhat kindly, and removed her boots before he decided to cover her with her blankets.

Knowing just how she reacted to alcohol, he remained, waiting for her to awaken and have involentary projectile vomiting. It was the only thing about her he found quite... irritable.

When the dark haired beauty awoke, not only was her head throbbing and her throat sore, she realized she was not in the crew's recreation area. _How in blazes did I get back in my quarters?_

Athena sat up in her bed, and held her head. The intense headache of a hangover was very apparant, and she knew she had thrown up, but there was no evidence of it. She looked around the room, her eyes squinted from the pale light. No one was around, and yet she felt like she remembered someone helping her. Sighing, she fell back into her bed, and rolled to one side. It was there, on her bedside table, that she saw a datapad. She gently fingered it, looking to see who had left it. She pressed a button and suddenly Spock's voice filled the room. "Athena, I assume you have no recollection of last night, due to your case of severe intoxication. If you are wondering how you ended up in your quarters, it is because I saw you in the recreation room and brought you here after realizing your condition. You may have the majority of this morning off, due to the sickness that I know you will have. I will meet you at your quarters at 1200 hours to collect you for your duties."

She smiled softly as the message ended, and sat the datapad back on the table. As she made her way to the shower, she wondered just how she should thank him.

It was very rare for the exercise hall to be nearly empty, but between 0800 and 1200, the room was almost barren. This was because the majority of the crew were on duty, and those who pulled the evening shift were fast asleep. Athena longed to be able to be alone as she worked, preferring to stay up extra late at night to avoid lustful looks from the male crewmates. She stretched her body, in preparation for the long workout she was planning on doing. She knew she would only have about two hours, and because of last night's date with a bottle of rum, she needed every last minute.

She began by doing several different stages of yoga, bending her body in ways no one on this ship had dared try. As far as she knew, she was the only one aboard that continued to do this ancient form of exercise. Then she upped her difficulty by switching to pilates. Most of the other females aboard this ship swore that this was what kept them in shape, and Athena agreed. But she liked to push herself further. For half an hour, she began to work dilligently at lifting weights, increasing the weight every time it began to get easier. She had gotten to 100 pounds before she stopped, and began working her lithe legs.

It was then, when she had only half an hour left, that she indulged her inner girlish secret. A single piano began to play softly in the background, and Athena allowed herself to begin dancing ballet. Very few people possessed the talent she did within Star Fleet, as most ballet dancers saught lucrative careers onstage. She didn't notice, however, that she had aquired an audience of three. Spock, McCoy, and Kirk stood in the doorway, the latter two amazed at what they were watching. Spock inwardly smiled. He hadn't seen her dance in so long, he forgot how graceful and elegant she was. He listened to the music briefly, and realized that the artist was the dancer before him. He knew her composition work, and although he didn't recognise this specific piece, he was sure that this was hers.

Athena danced past them at one point, though not seeing them. Her eyes were closed, her entire being completely focused on her secret passion. McCoy and Kirk decided to leave at that point, and Spock agreeed. Although, he allowed himself just a moment longer of enjoyment before he returned to the bridge. As the three left, they had completely forgotten their reason for coming down in the first place.

The song continued, nearing its end, and Athena collapsed to the ground, her hands covering her tears. She didn't realize that this song had been up next in her routine.

It was one of the many she composed after Spock left...

* * *

><p>The bridge was bustling with activity when Athena arrived for duty, so no one noticed her arrival. And they also didn't notice that her eyes were still red from crying. She hated the fact that she was so emotionally keyed up about her past relationship, and was unsure as to why it was driving her mad. She was grateful she hadn't run into Spock on her way here, as that would have most likely ended in disaster. She had prepared herself for work, and having personal conversation with him was completely out of the question. She knew he intended to collect her for duty, but rather than put herself at risk for emotionalities that would most definately arrive, she left straight from the exercise hall.<p>

As she sat at her post, she closed her eyes, and sighed. _Another day, another mask. Right Athena?_

Uhura noticed the young woman's unusual behavior, but reserved her questions for later. Sitting on the middle of the bridge with the crew surrounding you was not the best time to talk about personal issues. Especially with Athena. In the short time Uhura knew her, she found Athena to be quiet, reserved, and very private. It seemed that she and Spock had known each other from another time, due to the playful banter on both sides of overheard conversation. And there was also the fact that Athena was the only person she knew of in Star Fleet to be able to speak Vulcan that wasn't native to the planet. In her mind, something was adding up, but missing one key element. And she knew now that Athena was having a hard time dealing with that element. As if reading her mind, the woman in question turned to her, her eyes clearly showing signs of sadness. Uhura smiled to her, and glanced to the console, indicating she was sending her a message.

Athena was grateful to the older lieutenant, and gave a weak smile back before returning to her duties. She peeked at the message Uhura sent, which asked if she was okay and if she needed to talk, Uhura was willing to listen and help in any way she could. Quickly, Athena sent a message back thanking her friend, and assured her that she would be okay. As she returned to her post, her mind was racing. She knew her mask was slipping, and that wasn't going to be good for Spock, or her. It would most definately ruin Spock's reputation if their relationship when she was a cadet got out, and it would make a lot of people wonder if her intelligence and grades in Star Fleet were really true or influenced by the Vulcan.

She gasped in shock as she felt a hand rest upon her shoulder. She turned and found it was Spock. He had been speaking to her, but she hadn't heard a word he had said. He knew this, and simply told her to continue what she was doing. Athena found this odd, but to prevent any further probing from any watching eyes, she did as he requested. She wasn't about to start a conversation that could lead down a wrong path.

* * *

><p>It was late, but the recreation hall was still bustling when Athena arrived after working late on the bridge. She gravitated to the empty piano, as she always did, and sat on the bench. Her crew-mates looked forward to when she came and played the piano, as not many of them could match her talent. She began playing the piece she heard earlier, wanting to get all of this through her so it would stop bothering her. Spock was in the room, hidden in a corner when she began her music. He stood and walked near her, his mind curious. Athena noticed his presence, and began playing more pieces she had written after their split, putting every fiber of her being into the music.<p>

The surrounding crew was amazed by the womans talent, having never seen this side of her. She completed one song, and before she could begin another, Spock sat next to her. He started playing a song, which began to irritate Athena. She glared at him briefly before joining in the song, grabbing her guitar that sat nearby. She began strumming, and Spock quickly caught onto her rythm and began playing along with her. The crowd that had formed began cheering, and one of the crew members shouted for Athena to sing. She smiled, and looked at Spock before begining.

_Your fingertips across my skin_

_The palm trees swaying in the wind_

_Images..._

_You sang me foreign lullabyes_

_The sweetest sadness in your eyes_

_Clever trick..._

_Well I never want to see you unhappy_

_I thought you'd want the same for me_

_Goodbye my Almost Lover_

_Goodbye my hopeless dream_

_I'm trying not to think about you_

_Can't you just let me be?_

_So long my luckless romance_

_My back is turned on you_

_Shoulda known you'd bring me heartache_

_Almost Lovers always do_

_We walked along a crowed street_

_You took my hand and danced with me_

_Images..._

_And when you left you kissed my lips_

_You told me you would never never forget these images_

_I know..._

_Well I never want to see you unhappy_

_I thought you'd want the same for me_

_Goodbye my Almost Lover_

_Goodbye my hopeless dream_

_I'm trying not to think about you_

_Can't you just let me be?_

_So long my luckless romance_

_My back is turned on you_

_Shoulda known you'd bring me heartache_

_Almost Lovers always do_

_I cannot go to the ocean_

_I cannot drive the streets at night_

_I cannot wake up in the morning _

_Without you on my mind_

_So you're gone, and I'm haunted_

_And I bet you are just fine_

_Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?_

_Goodbye my Almost Lover_

_Goodbye my hopeless dream_

_I'm trying not to think about you_

_Can't you just let me be?_

_So long my luckless romance_

_My back is turned on you_

_Shoulda known you'd bring me heartache_

_Almost Lovers always do_

The crew sat there silently, shocked by Athena's captivating and powerful voice. Before anyone could say or do anything, Athena left the room, her guitar in hand. Spock sat at the piano, understanding the words of her song completely. He continued to play, not wanting to alert any of the crew that the song had a double meaning. He knew he would have to speak to her soon.

But what would he say?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hope you liked it. Leave a review to let me know what you thought. I only have one more chapter after this written, so it may take awhile before I update.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Past, Present, Future**

**Written by: Lysi Marie**

**Chapter Three**

_As she entered the small apartment, her anger was apparent. She had thrown her bag to the ground and walked straight past the apartment's occupant. "Before you ask, I don't want to talk about it. Your logical side will only make things worse." she said, begining to vent her frustration on a hanging punching bag._

_Spock obliged, and sat nearby, knowing how she needed to calm herself before attempting conversation. As she beat the poor helpless bag, he wondered what could have possibly evoked such an irrational emotional response. He quirked an eyebrow as he watched her. Not only was she near to ripping the thing apart by the seams, but she was muttering under her breath, a trait she inherited from her mother no doubt. "Athena, if you continue further, I will no longer have a way to help you vent your frustration and anger." he said, opening a book to read._

_She screamed, and hit the bag so hard it fell from it's perch. It was then that she realised how upset she truly was. She sighed, knowing that she needed to talk rather than be physically violent. "I'm sorry Spock." she whispered, moving to where he sat._

_He set his book down, and pulled her into his lap. He remained silent, allowing her to gather her thoughts. "It's just... Everyone expects the best of me because my mother has been promoted to an Admiral. I'm doing my best, but it never seems to be enough. I do all my work, excel at every single aspect of my studies, and still it's not enough. I'm not perfect Spock. I make mistakes. I'm only twenty years old. What more can I do?" she said, nearly on the verge of tears._

_Spock ran his hand through her long brown waves, wondering just what he should say. "I know I'm doing well. I just... I feel so overwhelmed. I can't talk to my mother about this, she wouldn't understand. I have no friends here because I do so well. You've seen the way they treat me because I'm smart. I didn't ask for this. Sometimes I just want to quit."_

_"Athena." he whispered._

_When her sad blue eyes met his own, he began. "You need not worry about any of this. You said you are doing your best, and that is all you can do. Do not think it is not enough. I assure you it is. As for your classmates, I understand the way you feel because I was treated similarly on Vulcan. As being half human, my comrades would try to illicit an emotional response. Unfortunately, they did succeed once. I nearly did the same thing to one of them that you just did to my punching bag. What I am trying to say is that you are not the only one who has endured through what you are undergoing."_

_Athena rested her forehead against his own and closed her eyes. "Thank you Spock." she whispered, before leaning against him._

_He held her tightly, knowing she would rest soon. "I love you." she muttered as she succumbed to sleep._

_"And I you..."_

* * *

><p>The planet Tantalus VI's surface was barren and the terrain rugged. The atmosphere was barely able to sustain life, and it's two suns kept it's temperature well over a hundred degrees. It was here that Athena, Spock and two security guards were exploring, trying to find the research group that had went missing three weeks ago. "Are we even sure we'll find anything?" Athena asked, monitoring her tricorder.<p>

Spock remained silent. It had been a few days since their impromtu concert in the recreation room, and he had yet to say anything of real value or substance to her. She rolled her eyes, knowing his tactics well, and moved further away from him. _If he's going to ignore me for the next five years, so be it. I can do just fine without him._

When Spock arrived at the research station, he noticed the Lieutenant's disappearance. He sent the security guards to find her, knowing full well he could handle any trouble that may come his way. He scanned the room, looking for any signs of struggle, but found nothing of use. It was almost as if the group stationed here simply disappeared from existance. "Completely illogical." he muttered, beginning to use his tricorder to find aything he couldn't with the naked eye.

A loud scream penetrated his thoughts, and he ran out of the building, knowing full well who that scream belonged to. Before he could do anything or figure out what had happened, he found himself falling into darkness. Almost instantly, he landed in a deep pool of water, his backside landing on the harsh rocky bed below. Spock swam to the surface, and gasped for air. His eyes adjusted to the darkness slowly, and he managed to see a shoreline not too far away. He made his way there, and pulled himself out of the cool water. As he reached for his communicator, he noticed he was not alone in the hole. The scream he heard earlier was from Athena, apparently when she had fallen into this same hole. He moved to her side, and assessed her situation. It seemed as though when she fell, she landed in the water as well, and had barely managed to make it up to the shore. She had passed out, and though her breathing was regular, it was obvious that her body had sustained some form of physical trauma. "Lieutenant?"

She was slient, and he tried to wake her by gently shaking her body. "Athena."

Her soft blue eyes opened slowly, then closed tightly as she clenched her teeth together in pain. She hissed, and cradled her arm tightly to her chest. Without a word, Spock began to help, knowing her arm was broken. "It needs to be set." he whispered, asking for permission.

She nodded, and gripped his shoulder with her good hand. Quickly, he moved her arm and a sickening crack echoed throughout the cavern. Athena screamed in agony, and fell forward. Spock grabbed her, to prevent her from further damaging herself. He quickly removed his shirt and made a makeshift sling to rest her injured arm. When he finished, she was crying softly, the pain riviting throughout her body. "I will get us out of here Athena." he assured, moving for his communicator again.

At least, what was left of it. The device had been broken in his fall, and the damage from the water was too great for him to be able to fix. He grasped Athena's, which was only slightly damaged, and began to repair it with pieces of his own. A few minutes in silence passed when he noticed that she was beginning to slip into unconsciousness, and he shook her again to keep her from it. "Athena, you cannot leave me. I need you to stay awake. Talk to me." he said, walking on the shore, looking for anything he could use to get them out of here.

"I... I'm sorry." she whispered, continuing to cradle her arm. "For leaving the search party. Your cold shoulder was getting on my last nerve."

He nodded in understanding before attempting to climb the rocky wall behind her. "You're not going to leave me down here are you?" she joked, a weak laugh escaping her.

"Hardly." he said, nearly falling from the slippery rock. "It seems that the moisture from the small lake has caused some form of algae to grow along the rockside. Climbing out is not an option."

"Then it seems that we're stuck here until the Captain sends someone to search for us."

Spock sat near her, his mind focused on finding a way out of their situation as he returned to working on the communicator. It wasn't until Athena shoved him slightly that he realized she was trying to talk with him. "Always off in that mind of yours." she muttered, her smile apparent in her voice.

He shoved her back slightly. She glanced at him, and began laughing. "How is it that no matter how logical you are, you act illogical?"

He feigned ignorance. "I merely did the logical thing. Shoving you back showed acknowledgement, and gave an illusion of emotion that I knew you would react to."

Athena rolled her eyes. "Say what you will Spock, but you know I know you better than most."

A tense slience filled the air, until a spike of pain shot through Athena's arm, which caused her to groan softly. Spock turned to her, remembering that she needed medical attention. "Did I harm you?"

Slight though it was, Athena noticed the worry in his voice. "No. I'll be fine. Let's just hope the Captain hurries."

* * *

><p>"Does anyone have any idea what happened down there? A senior ranking officer and a lieutenant do not suddenly disappear." Kirk said, pacing in front of the viewing screen.<p>

"Captain, I've been scanning the planet for any signs of communication as you asked." Uhura said, turning in her chair.

"And you've found something?"

"It's been three hours without even a hint of static."

Kirk frowned, and nodded. "Continue searching. Scotty, have you been able to enhance our scanners to look for signs of them below the planets surface?"

"I cannot work miracles Captain."

Rolling his eyes, Kirk moved to stand behind the Scotsman. "Then give me your best."

Looking up at the captain with a smile on his face. "Now that Captain, I can do."

* * *

><p>Spock groaned as he came back into consciousness. He heard an unfamiliar alien dialect near him, and he thought of Athena. The last thing he remembered was talking with her before he was hit. The Vulcan moved to touch his head, and found that his hands were tied behind his chair. The room was dark, causing him to wonder where he was, and more importantly, where was Athena?<p>

"See how his mind turns to the female? Despite being Vulcan, he is attached to her."

Spock turned his head to the voice, wondering where it had come from. "Who are you?" he called.

A bright light shone into Spock's eyes blinding him momentarily. "Tell us what we want to know." a voice said, coming from behind the light.

The Vulcan remained silent.

"Elia, this one is going to be difficult to break. Perhaps we should try the female." another voice said sinisterly.

"I let you try that before with the others and that only resulted in bloodshed."

"Others?" Spock questioned, wondering if it was the missing research group.

"Ha. Now he speaks." the sinister voice returned.

"Kafre, hold your tongue. Mr. Spock, I am willing to be reasonable, even hospitable. So long as you are cooperative."

Spock's eyebrow quirked. "How do you know who I am?"

"We are telepathic Mr. Spock. We know you better than you would like us to."

"I see." he said, his eyebrows raised in slight alarm. "Unfortunately, I do not know what it is that you wish to know."

"He's lying." Kafre said, revealing himself.

Elia moved forward as well, her red skin sparking against the bright light. "How would you know?"

"I am Vulcan as you are well aware. I cannot lie. It is illogical, especially in this situation."

Kafre sneered and invaded Spock's personal space, his face mere inches away from the Vulcan's own. "Is it? Maybe we need to up the stakes. We know how you feel about this Athena. We even went so far as to heal her arm. Her well being depends entirely on you."

Elia grabbed Kafre's dark red arm, as her black eyes became fierce. "You are not helping matters!" she shouted, throwing him back.

Kafre's white eyes glared at the woman before he crossed his arms and leaned against a wall. Elia tucked her white hair behind a pointed ear, and leaned in front of Spock, trying to be civil. "I apologise for my companion. Our civilization is in the midst of a genocide, and we need your help. I do not like to deal in unpleasantries, but if you do not give me the information and help I ask for, I will allow Kafre to do anything he wishes."

Spock remained emotionless, despite having a slight worry build for Athena. "I am part of the Federation, which you are no doubt aware of, and it is against regulations to interfere with situations such as yours. I cannot help you."

Kafre laughed, and grabbed Spock's arm as Elia sighed. "Then I have no choice." she whispered.

* * *

><p>When Athena awoke, she found herself dressed in a leather band concealing her chest, and a small makeshift skirt that barely covered her. Her hands were bound and pulled up, while her legs were strapped to the ground, preventing her from moving. Her breathing quickened, not knowing what was happening. The last thing she remembered was being in that cave with Spock, her arm broken. She felt no pain in it, and turned her head, looking to see if she could find Spock. Panic was beginning to set in, and Athena knew she needed to calm herself.<p>

_Come on Athena... You can do this... Everything is going to be okay... Sure I'm tied up and dressed provocatively, but there has to be a reason for it... Right?_

It was then that two aliens escorted Spock to stand before her. He appeared to be fine, but Athena knew how well he was at hiding everything. "Spock, what's going on?" she whispered, her blue eyes full of fear.

One of the aliens standing beside Spock moved and slapped her. "Be quiet!"

"Kafre, it is not time." the other said, causing the one named Kafre to step back. "Mr. Spock, we have explained to you our terms. Either you give us the information we desire, or we torture this... Athena untill she dies."

Athena was in shock. Why would they torture her to get to Spock? In her mind, it made no sense. Then, an idea struck her. She looked at Spock, closed her eyes and opened them, revealing a burning blue within them.

Spock stood still, his face contemplative. He understood, and nodded. "You will not get me to speak."

Athena smiled slightly. He had taught her many years ago the Vulcan way of enduring severe pain. It had been awhile since she last attempted it, but she knew that she could do it. The older of the aliens sighed, and bound him to a nearby chair. "Let us see how long your human half can endure this." Kafre said, sneering in Spock's face.

"Stay strong Spock." Athena whispered, closing her eyes in preparation.

_I do not feel..._

_I can endure..._

_I do not feel..._

_I can endure..._

_Pain does not exist..._

Athena gasped as her words were stopped. She felt the slice that had been made into her back from the hard whip. Her eyes widened, and she looked to Spock. She could see pain clearly in his eyes. Shaking her head, she closed her eyes and began again, this time speaking aloud and in Vulcan.

_I do not feel..._

_I can endure..._

_I do not feel..._

_I can endure..._

_Pain does not exist..._

The next blow was not nearly as painful, and Athena knew she was succeeding. She had to continue.

_Pain... does... not... ex..ist..._

Spock was fascinated by her ability to do something very few humans had been able to master. He felt his heart surge with pride. When they were able to escape, he would not take her for granted any longer. He kept his eyes upon Athena's, knowing the strain this was putting upon her.

Her eyes opened slowly, determination clearly seen. She had done it. She stared past Spock, her concentration deep. The pain the aliens were inflicting was gone. They had changed from using a whip to using one simliar, but it left glass shards in her back. Athena's eyes closed, building further concentration.

_She is doing well. I never thought she had mastered this... I am more concerned with how she will be when we return to the Enterprise._

* * *

><p>Hours had passed, and Athena's back was nothing but slices of flesh, bleeding massively. She knew she was losing a lot of blood, but she did not allow it to break her concentration. Fortunately, the aliens had realized that torture was not going to get them their information. Athena had no idea just what they were after, but whatever it was, they were desperate to obtain it.<p>

_Her breathing is slowing... She cannot endure much more... I need to find a way for us to be able to make contact with the Enterprise..._

Spock was still bound to the chair and was watching Athena. She looked awful, and the pool of blood at her feet was creating a feeling of worry within him. He had not expected these aliens to continue for as long as they did. He had been working for a time to loose his hands, but found himself unable to. "Athena." he said, trying to draw her out.

Her eyes proved how drained she was. She had to fight to keep them open. "Spock." she whispered, her voice unable to become louder.

"I will get you out of here."

She nodded, and closed her eyes. _Sleep... All I need is sleep..._

"Athena!" he shouted, currently not caring about showing emotion.

The woman gasped, and began to cough. She was weakening...

Spock was feeling rage come upon him. A rage he had not felt in many years...

"The female shows an amazing ability to endure physical pain. Fortunately, we have ways around that." Kafre said.

"Kafre, we cannot use those forms of torture. It is against everything our people believe." Elia said, her voice stern.

"Elia, if we do not, our people will have nothing left to believe in because they will be dead." the younger alien shouted, his anger running deep.

A loud crash disrupted their discussion, and they returned to the room where their captives were being held. "They're gone!" Kafre yelled, pushing the older alien. "It's because you had to stop. Our people's blood is on your hands!"

Spock held Athena in his arms, her pale body weak and barely alive. "Stay with me Athena." he said, gently resting her on a nearby rock.

She groaned, and tried to move from lying on her stomach to her back. "No, Athena. You cannot risk further infection." he added, holding her back from rolling over.

Another gasp escaped her. She was trying to speak. "S...sp..spo..."

"Do not try to speak. We will be upon the Enterprise soon." he said, pulling out a communicator.

He was greatful that the aliens had refused to check him for the communicator he had managed to repair. "Spock to Enterprise, Spock to Enterprise."

Static filled the communicator, followed by Kirk's voice. "Spock! What's happened?"

"Captain, Lieutenant Romanos and I need to be beamed aboard immediately. She's badly injured."

"Triangulating on your position, Spock." Scotty said, coming on the comm.

"I need to hold Lieutenant Romanos. She cannot stand. Wait for my order."

He carefully lifted her into his arms, careful not to hurt her further. She cried softly, becoming adjusted to her new position. "Energize." Spock said, his communicator open on a nearby rock.

Within moments, the two were back upon their ship. "Dear God, what happened?" McCoy asked, hurrying to Athena's aid.

"Doctor, may I suggest we hurry to Sick Bay? She has lost a substantial amount of blood." Spock said, holding her close.

McCoy nodded. "Scotty, inform Jim to meet us at Sick Bay." he said, following the Vulcan.

Upon reaching their destination, Spock was grateful that the majority of the crew were not moving about. Athena didn't need stares from her comrades. He and McCoy moved the young woman onto a surgical table, doing their best to gently transfer her to her stomach. "I'll enduce anethesia, and begin. Nurse Chapel, assist. Spock, you need to wait outside."

"With all due respect Doctor, I would like to stay."

McCoy looked at the Vulcan with confusion. "I'm sorry Spock, but it's regulation. I'll call you in when I'm finished. In the meantime, meet with Jim. Inform him of everything."

"S-Spock..."

Athena's voice was weak, and she was trying to grasp his hand. "Le...Let him..." was all she could say before she fell into sleep.

McCoy raised an eyebrow, and nodded. He couldn't waste any more time. "Just stay out of the way Spock." he said, beginning to work.

* * *

><p>It was well past midnight on Earth's time, and Athena had yet to be released from surgery. Spock had been called away by Captain Kirk, despite his wishes to remain in Sick Bay. He had given his report, leaving out the true reason for Athena's brutal torture. Whatever those aliens were, they were able to sense emotions, despite Spock's repeated efforts to dismiss them.<p>

Kirk allowed him to inform the Admiral, who was extremely concerned for her daughter. Spock assured her that as soon as she was able to, he would contact her with a vid connection. Despite her feelings, the Admiral accepted it, knowing she could not leave her assignment.

Spock was now sitting in his quarters, trying to meditate. He had attempted playing music, but after breaking several strings, he moved to meditation. His mind needed to become calm, and he needed to gain control of his emotions. The last thing he desired was either becoming furious with the Doctor, who was working as fast as he could, or reveal his love for Athena publicly.

"McCoy to Spock."

The Vulcan all but lept to the intercom. "Spock here."

"Lieutenant Romanos has been released from Intensive Care. She's awake, but in a lot of pain. She's asking to see you." his southern drawl coming through the speaker.

"Understood. I'll be there shortly."

Spock quickly made his way through the halls, trying to get to Sick Bay as fast as possible. McCoy looked up when he entered. "That was quick. Do you normally rush to young lieutenant's aid?"

"This is hardly the time to be what you call sarcastic. Where is the lieutenant?"

McCoy knew there was more to this. Spock was short, but never quite this short. "In there. I've done the best I can. She'll always have scarring, but I was able to remove all the glass particles and heal her back. Her blood count is almost normal, and suprisingly, she's got some spunk in her."

Spock nodded, and moved into the room Athena was in. The door closed behind him, and he walked to her side. She appeared to be sleeping, so he sat nearby, not wanting to disturb her. "Spock?"

He glanced at her, and relieved she was awake. "Athena." he whispered, allowing his hand to gently cover hers.

She smiled. "A girl has to do a lot to get your attention apparently."

He shook his head. "Not you. Never you."

Athena quirked an eyebrow, her smile turning mischevious.

Spock tilted his head. "McCoy did say you had spunk. Whatever that may be."

She laughed softly, then began to cough. "Oh, this is not fun."

He gently rubbed her cheek, then realized how he was acting. He stood, and Athena nodded in understanding. Fortunately, it was just in time, for Captain Kirk and McCoy entered the room. "How are you feeling?" Kirk asked, standing across from Spock.

"I feel all right. Pain is occasional. But I'm sure I'll be fit for duty soon." she said.

Kirk smirked. "I look forward to having you back on the bridge. You always seem to know how to explain Mr. Spock's findings without confusing the rest of us."

Athena smiled and leaned back into the bed. She was feeling a surge of pain, but was doing her best to fight it off. She listened to McCoy, Kirk and Spock discuss what had occured on the planet. Fortunately, when she closed her eyes, McCoy and Kirk took the initiative to leave.

"Would you like for me to open a transmission to your mother?" Spock asked.

Athena shook her head. "Not yet. I'd like to rest some more before I speak with her. Thank you Spock."

"Thanks are unnecessary. I merely did what was logical."

She smiled, "I may have been nearly unconscious, but I remember the way you escaped. It was anything but logical."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Sorry for the long wait. I don't have internet at my house, which causes the delay. I hope to post more frequently in the future though! Let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

**Past, Present, Future**

**Written by: Lysi Marie**

**Chapter Four**

_It was late, but the two bodies lying in the vast bed had no concern for time anymore. The brunette was sitting up, the sheets tucked around her to hide her naked form. She smiled as the man lying beside her slept soundly. His arm was draped across her lap atop the cotton sheet, and his dark eyes were hidden from the world as he dreamed._

_Unable to control herself, Athena ran her hand against his dark hair, then allowed herself to gently caress his pointed ears. "You realise it is nearly impossible to sleep while you do that?" he muttered._

_"Do you realise it's impossible to not want to?"_

_Spock's eyes opened and he glanced up at her. "I do have to be up early tomorrow, in case you forgot."_

_Athena rolled her eyes. "This coming from the man who kept me up nearly all night before my exams."_

_"I was dealing with frustration and it was your idea." he said, moving the sheet from her body._

_She huffed, and slid to lie beside him. "But it worked, didn't it?"_

_He pulled her close, their bodies touching for the thousandth time that night. "What time is it?"_

_"Nearly 0400."_

_"I have to leave at 0500. But I think I sense some more frustration."_

_Athena's laugh was silenced from his lips brushing against hers._

* * *

><p>It felt like eternity had passed, but Athena and Spock were finally back to their work on board the Enterprise. After having seen McCoy about her injuries, Athena now stood near Spock's private quarters, wanting to speak with him. She stood in front of the door, and waited to be admitted. She didn't have to wait long, and walked in through the automatic door into the dark room. "Spock?" she called, not able to locate him.<p>

He turned a corner, and quirked his eyebrow at seeing her. She smiled uneasliy, and barely made eye contact. "I wanted to thank you for helping me."

Spock nodded, and stood with his hands locked behind his back. Athena sighed, and moved closer to him. "You're upset about how you acted when I was in Sick Bay." she noted.

"Illogical."

Her eyes challenged him, and he let his guard down slightly. "Unfortunately, yes I am. And unlike you, I do not have a punching bag at my lesiure."

Athena laughed. So he did remember that aspect of their relationship. It was his idea for her to vent her frustration on a punching bag rather than emotionally yell and become somewhat physical toward him when he said the wrong logical thing. "Yes, that is unfortunate."

"So meditation is my only option to help me overcome my illogical behavior."

She smirked. "It didn't use to be." she muttered, remembering his way of venting frustration perfectly.

Spock cleared his throat, a clear sign that he remembered, and was slightly embarrassed. "If I recall, that was my idea." she said, her smirk growing.

His eyes met hers, pain filling them, and she dropped her smile. "I'm sorry Commander. I... I'll see you tomorrow." she said, leaving the room quickly.

It was when he was alone again that he dropped into his chair, and held his head within his hands. "She's going to be the death of me." he muttered.

* * *

><p>He was sitting in darkness, eyes closed, and mind racing. If you were to see him lying in his bed, you'd think he was sleeping, but it was quite the opposite. His mind was moving so quickly, he was barely able to keep up with it. One moment he was thinking about the agony he and Athena had endured, and the next moment he'd be off thinking about the Lieutenant herself, and the comment she made not more than an hour ago.<p>

Spock had been trying to fight his human half, an attempt that had been going on for too long. As he lied in his bed, he felt it overrunning him, and he allowed it in his solitude. It was rare that he allowed such thoughts, but he was exhausted from preventing them for so long.

_She's unlike any woman I have ever encountered._

_While most women manipulate ways to reach my affections, Athena is able to bring them out. She doesn't try to change my Vulcan and logical side, she merely emphasizes what is lying dormant within myself._

_She is the only woman I have ever loved from the deepest part of who I am. Which is very difficult to understand._

_Love is merely a feeling of warm personal attachment to a person or object. If cultivated, it can lead to passionate affection._

_At least that is a dictionary's definiton._

_My definition differes immensly._

_Love is an emotion that is dangerous, and has captivated my own being._

_Despite the walls I have built my entire life around my emotions, Athena is able to tear them all down with a single look or word._

_And then it takes hours, if not days, to rebuild them._

_I had been doing well to burn the bridge between Athena and my love for her since I left, but when she returned..._

_It appears she had a hidden passageway right back into my heart._

Suddenly, he sat straight up in his bed, and raked a hand through his hair. He couldn't keep focused on these thoughts. It would be the end of him, and so he walked down to the exercise hall. As he began a routine, he focused his attention on what he was doing. Athena would not cross his mind until he saw her on the bridge, and when that happened, he would be in complete control of himself again.

* * *

><p>She was sitting at her desk, music playing lightly in the background as she worked. She was grateful to be busy again, but her injuries were making it difficult to focus. She decided to take a break to the recreation room, wondering what people were up to tonight. She smiled as she saw Uhura and several male crewmembers flirting with her. The dark beauty caught Athena's eye, and called her over. When she arrived, she noticed that among the group was Scotty, and it appeared that he was getting close to Uhura. "Athena, we were talking about you and Spock's performance a few days ago. How is it that the two of you were able to do something like that?" Sulu asked.<p>

"Well, we work together. When you do that it's easy for it to transition into other areas of life." she said, trying to avoid the truth.

"Would the two of you do it again? I heard the Captain was planning on arranging a party because we won't get any shore leave soon." Scotty added.

Athena was speechless. She was very private in her music and singing and what happened between her and Spock a few days ago was very impromtu and unexpected. She also knew Spock wouldn't sing if his life depended on it. However, her crewmates wouldn't have asked if they didn't like what they had heard. "I wouldn't mind, but you'll have to ask Mr. Spock about it."

The recreation room nearly burst with excitement, and many people came to ask her to sing so many different songs. Athena shook her head. "I will only take requests that night." she laughed.

Several were disappointed, and Scotty turned to her. "As for askin Mr. Spock, I'll leave that to you."

She glared at the engineer, and scowled. "That is cruel and unusual punishment Scotty. Unfortunately, you've got the saddest expression on this ship, so I have to follow through. If I don't I'll be subjected to it for the next five years."

Her friends laughed, and she asked where Mr. Spock could be found. The group quieted, and Uhura glanced at her. "He's in the exercise room. In all my years of knowing him, I've never seen him like this."

Athena quirked an eyebrow, and nodded. She left the recreation room, and headed for the turbo lift. "What the devil have I done?" she whispered to herself, the lift carrying her to the destination.

* * *

><p>When she saw the Vulcan, he was alone, shirtless, and sweaty. His back was to her, and she briefly admired the sight of his muscles and his vast strength. He was focused on a form of yoga Athena had seen him do years ago. She had practiced greatly, and had yet to be able to reach the expertise of what Spock was working on. She remained quiet as he transfered his weight to his hands, pulling his body up above him. He curved his legs back, and contorted his body so that he could nearly tap his feet on his head.<p>

_Oh sweet mercy..._

Her thoughts were running wild, and before she could stop it, her nose reacted to some foreign substance causing her to sneeze. Spock's concentration fell, along with his body. He began speaking in Vulcan words that Athena knew he oughten't. "Tsk... Tsk... Tsk..."

He stood and turned to her, breathing heavily. "Can I assist you in some way?" he asked.

Athena averted her eyes from his chest as he began to run a towel across his skin. "The um... I mean... Scotty... No, the crew... they um..."

Spock quirked his eyebrow. She rolled her eyes, and placed her hands upon her hips. "I realize we haven't spoken about the past, but you know you are making it terribly difficult to speak to you right now."

The Vulcan nodded in understanding, "Then ask your question and leave Lieutenant."

"The crew wanted to know if you would agree to be entertainment with me for some party the Captain's throwing due to the absence of shore leave."

"Entertainment?" he asked, moving toward the gym showers.

Athena watched him, wondering if he was going to shower with her still talking to him. "Yes, you know, music, singing, that sort of thing."

Spock turned, his eyebrow raised. "You realize you are doing that far too much?" Athena said, causing him to lower it.

"I do not sing."

"Then you play the music and I'll sing. I couldn't say no when they ambushed me." she said, turning to leave the gym.

"I accept. Shall I inform the Captain?"

"Whatever floats your boat Spock." she said, waving goodbye without turning to see him.

"Fascinating." Spock whispered, moving to shower before returning to his quarters.

* * *

><p>As Athena entered the recreation room, she felt all eyes fall upon her. Fortunately, that was exactly what she wanted to happen. She had purposely worn such a provocative dress to elicit a reaction from her crewmates, particularly her Vulcan commander. As she neared the makeshift stage, she couldn't stop the smile that formed as several male crewmembers whistled. As was expected, Spock's eyebrow was quirked upon seeing her arrive, and Athena knew her plan was beginning to work. The tight, black dress left little to the imagination as it hugged her curves in all the right places. A soft v-neck revealed just enough cleavage to whet any man's appetite, while the short skirt provided an ample view of her long lithe legs.<p>

When she neared the Vulcan, she grinned, remembering the last time she wore this dress. If memory served correctly, it had been pulled off her body and thrown across the room in mere moments by the man who sat before her. What intrigued Spock the most, was the necklace she wore. It was the one he had given her for her twenty-first birthday, a simple silver chain that surrounded her neck before dropping to rest a single tear shaped diamond just above her cleavage. Athena knew he noticed it, and gently touched the stone with her delicate fingers subconsciously. Their eyes met for a brief moment before she decided she should speak, lest someone's mind wonder to what was going on between them. "Good evening Mr. Spock." she said, her voice slightly trembling.

"Good evening Lieutenant Romanos."

Athena smiled nervously, as several crewmembers began to shout out titles of songs they wanted to hear. The two began to oblige their vast audience, song after song, melody after melody, and tune after tune. Athena did her best singing the vast multitudes of love songs that male crewmembers requested for their girls, but deep within her, she felt her own heart weighing down with sadness. As she finished another song, she turned to Spock and told him the next song to play, before someone could request yet another love ballad. The Vulcan was unsure of what to make of her choice, but moved to start the music Athena brought with her. "I think it's now time for us to get down and party!" she said into the microphone, motioning to Spock to let the music begin.

A sultry latino tune came over the speakers, and Athena began to vocalize, moving her body to the rhythm of the music. Spock stood in amazement, watching Athena dance as she sang the provocative words, his mind working overtime to remain in control. He knew she had planned all of this, her dress, the necklace, even the song she was dancing to at this moment. He quickly flipped through the songs she had brought with her, and rather than play the song that was programmed to be next, he searched for the one song he knew to be special to her. Spock didn't care if he was acting illogical in his retaliation, the battle they were fighting had become far too personal. When Athena heard the soft music begin to play, she couldn't stop the small tears that formed in her eyes. She quickly recovered, and before the lyrics began, she shot her glance to the Vulcan who had moved to stand within her line of sight. '_That sneaky, no good, incredibly sexy, pointy-eared hobgoblin!'_ she thought, beginning to sing the words that once meant so much to them both.

_You've got magic inside your fingertips_

_It's leaking out all over my skin_

_Yeah_

_Everytime that I get close to you_

_You're making me weak_

_With the way you look through those eyes..._

Athena's voice caught in her throat, but she pushed past it, continuing the song.

_But all I see is your face_

_All I need is your touch_

_Wake me up with your lips_

_Come at me from up above_

_Yeah..._

She felt her silent tears fall from her eyes, as she whispered the next verse...

_Oh I need you..._

Her mind flashed back into their past, remembering the time they found this song, and danced to it for hours on end.

_I remember the way that you move_

_You're dancing easily through my dreams_

_It's hitting me harder and harder with all your smiles_

_You are crazy gentle in the way you kiss..._

As she sang the chorus, Spock began feeling a sharp pang of guilt run through him. He shouldn't have done this to her. He knew how she had felt about their relationship and their break up, and this only put her into a vulnerable position in front of the entire crew. _'Why can I never think straight when it concerns Athena?'_

_Oh baby I need you_

_To see me the way I see you_

_Love me wide awake in the middle of my dreams..._

Despite feeling vast anger within her, singing this song felt good. It felt right, and as she sang the final parts, she couldn't help her smile as she found Spock across the crowd. She sang it to him, wanting him to know that although it pained her, she was grateful to be singing this song again.

"I think I'm going to take a short break now." she said.

Groans and complaints filled the air, and she giggled. "Come on now, I'll be back. I just need to rest my voice for a bit, and maybe dance with a few lucky gents!"

The crew roared, and Athena felt herself surge with happiness. She felt accepted and genuinely cared for by her crewmates. As she made her way through the crowd, it wasn't long before she found herself standing before Spock. A small uneasy smile formed on her face, her eyes unable to meet his. "I apologise." he said, the vulcan words flowing from his mouth.

She nodded, and shrugged her shoulder. "It's just a song."

Before either could say any more, McCoy and Kirk came up to the two. "You're a regular songbird Athena! I never knew you could sing so well." the doctor said, placing an arm around her shoulders in a hug.

Athena blushed. "Thanks McCoy. If you play your cards right, maybe my next song will be just for you."

The southern gentleman laughed. "Is there anything else you've got hidden up your sleeve?"

"Afraid not. You've seen just about all of my skills."

Spock turned to her. "I highly doubt that."

Athena raised her eyebrows, and smiled. "Well, I couldn't call myself a woman without a few secrets." she admitted.

Kirk laughed. "Spoken well. Would you indulge me with a dance Lieutenant Romanos?" he asked.

"Of course. As long as you call me Athena. I'm off duty." she joked, taking the arm of her captain.

Spock watched as his friend danced with her, and felt his eye twitch as she laughed in his arms. Kirk's back was to him, and he could see Athena's eyes glance back at him. She stared at him for a moment, then glanced back to her dance partner. Spock wondered briefly if it was mere happenstance, but when she did it again, and held his gaze for several seconds, he knew she was trying to get his attention. Slowly, he made his way over to her, the crowd parting to make way as he walked across the dance floor. Everyone watched, wondering what the commander was about to do. Spock gently tapped his friends' shoulder, and motioned for Athena to join him in a dance. Her eyes darted around the room, and her mind was racing. "What are you doing?" she asked, her eyes focused on his own.

"Dancing."

Athena rolled her eyes. "Thank you commander obvious. I thought it was illogical to dance." she countered.

"Not particularly. I noticed you glancing at me several times, and the logical thing was to come and see what it was you wished. I deduced that you wanted to dance with me, and rather than break social customs, I decided that I could permit a dance with you." he explained.

Smiling, she rolled her eyes again. "Such a romantic."

Spock remained silent, but sent a telekinetic message through their joined hands. _I need to speak with you alone. Come to my quarters when you wish._

Her eyes widened, and she stared up at him. He bowed as their dance ended, and left the recreation room. Athena stood in the middle of the dance floor speechless, watching the lean man. She mentally shook herself, then went back to the stage, where she threw herself into singing again for her crewmates.

* * *

><p>The brunette wasn't sure how long she had stood before Spock's door. Her heart was racing as she waited for him to answer the door, having signaled she was here. He opened the door, and allowed her to enter. She watched him as he moved to his safe, entered the combination, and looked inside for something. When he turned to her, he held a box full of what looked like vid messages. "I think it would be best to start here. Take these, watch them, and when you finish we can speak about..." he stopped speaking, which alarmed Athena.<p>

She moved and gently rested her hand against his arm. His eyes shot to hers, and she could see the internal battle his mind was having. Without a word, Athena grasped the box and left the room, knowing it would be best for both of them. When she entered her room, she quickly moved to her desk, and inserted the first disk numbered one. Instantly, she felt tears prick her eyes as the vid he sent her so long ago began to play. She ended it, and moved on to number two. She coudn't deal with hearing those words again.

His face appeared on the screen again, and this time, Athena allowed it to play through.

"Athena... I know I hurt you. And I know I can never mend the pain I have caused you. There is... a virus on the Enterprise, and... I am having difficulty restraining myself. Emotionally. I think this is how it is affecting me, and I... I must admit that I wish you were here. I wish you were here so I could tell you how much I regret the way I left. So I could tell you that I miss your blue eyes greeting me in the morning. So I could tell you that no matter how hard I have tried, I cannot stop..."

Tears flowed from Athena's eyes as she watched the man she cared for nearly break down into tears himself. The message continued for several seconds as Spock broke down into sobs and then suddenly ended. Moving quickly, she inserted disk three, needing to see more of what he had recorded for her.

"It is your birthday today. And you have not been out of my thoughts for a moment. I would like to send you something, but I doubt you would appreciate it. I do not blame you Athena. Please know that."

The message ended, and although short, she knew it was something that was difficult for him to say.

...

Hours had passed, many tears shed, and a smile appeared on Athena's face as she began to watch the final disk.

"You are coming. Assigned to the Enterprise. I... I can barely believe it." Spock's voice was noticably shaken.

"After five years, I will see you again."

His eyes looked away, a sign Athena knew to mean he was sad. "And you will want nothing to do with me."

When she thought the vid was ending, as he said no more, she jumped as he suddenly spoke. "I know one day you will hear all these messages I have recorded. All the words spoken these past years, and yet, I have no idea how you will react."

The dark brown eyes looked straight at her, causing goosebumps to emerge on Athena's arms. It was almost like he was sitting before her. "I only want you to know that no matter what I have done, no matter what I have said, and despite being completely illogical..."

She waited, holding her breath, waiting for the words she had always wanted to hear.

...

They never came.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Another update! It looks like Tuesdays may become my update days, so keep an eye out in the future for a Tuesday update! Thanks for the reviews and adds to favorites. It makes me happy to know people like what I'm adventuring into.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Past, Present, Future**

**Written by: Lysi Marie**

**Chapter Five**

_The classroom was empty, except for a fair young woman, her dark hair concealing her face from those passing by. Her mind was focused on her studies, her spare hand typing on her padd information she would study further later. As she typed furiously, her mind moving faster than her hand could type, someone entered, disturbing her trail of thought. She sighed heavily, and looked up to see the person she had only heard rumors about. "Mr. Spock?"_

_His head tilted, as though he was slightly confused. "I believe you have me at a disadvantage cadet."_

_She laughed, "Oh, I'm sorry. Cadet Athena Romanos. Before you ask, yes, I am the daughter of Amelia Romanos. I tend to hide out here when I want to get some deep study in. I can't concentrate when I'm in the library. Too many people trying to 'hook up' if you know what I mean."_

_The Vulcan raised his eyebrows, suprised at her explanation. "Indeed. I did not mean to disturb you. I shall leave you to your studies."_

_Athena stood, "You're not disturbing me. On the contrary, I'd love to pick your brain."_

_He turned to face her, "Pick my brain?"_

_Her smile returned. "I'm sorry. It's a human expression. Meaning I'd love to ask you some questions. If you don't mind that is."_

_"I do not. What do you wish to ask me?"_

_Her eyes lit up at the very idea of being able to ask the Vulcan anything, she didn't know where to begin. "I'm not sure where I should start."_

_"The beginning is usually a good place." he responded, leaning against a desk._

_Athena's laugh filled Spock's ears, and for the first time in his life, he felt his heart beat just a little bit faster._

* * *

><p>She stood at her door, wondering if she should confront him or not. She had been up all night watching the vids he sent her, and not once did he say what she thought he had been trying to say since their relationship became romantic seven years ago. The two years they spent together before he left were some of the happiest Athena could remember. Then when it was all over, and she was graduating from the Academy, she had nothing to show for it. Her heart had been broken, and now? Now she was working with him, training to become as valuable to Star Fleet as he was. Now she was hiding the pain she felt at having to spend time with him, hiding it from the crew, from her friends, from her mother, and most importantly from <em>him<em>. She knew she had let a few things slip throughout the time she'd been assigned to the Enterprise, but the ordeal they endured while captured made her realize that Spock was dealing with the same problem. Watching the vids only further confirmed it.

Last night, she wanted to confront him. That was why she wore what she did, sang the songs she did, and even went so far as to dance with his best friend. She wanted him to know she was moving on, when deep down, she was far from it. When he danced with her, she felt her heart nearly stop beating, and her nerves nearly overloaded when he sent her his telepathic message. It reminded her of the times they were intimate, how he would speak to her through his touch, rather than his voice. Just thinking about it as she changed sent shivers across her body. She had decided she needed time to think about everything he revealed, and made her way to the bridge, not entirely ready to face Spock.

When she arrived, tension on the bridge was papitable, as she watched the Captain, Scotty and McCoy huddled in a circle as Spock was obliviously scanning the space they were patrolling. The three turned to face her quickly, their whispers silenced and faces flushing to hide what they had been speaking of. She squinted her eyes as Scotty moved to a station, Kirk sat in his chair and McCoy made his way to the turbo lift. She shrugged the tension off her shoulders, and moved to stand beside Uhura. "So, what was all that about?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"I think they're placing a bet on something, but I'm not sure on what. It usually involves Mr. Spock." Uhura said, looking up from her communications panel.

Athena rolled her eyes. "I'd join in, but apparently it's for senior officers only." she joked.

Uhura stifled her laugh to avoid suspicious looks, "Typically. I'll see if I can find out from Scotty tomorrow night."

The brunette raised her eyebrows in suprise. "He finally asked you?"

Her answer was a shy grin, and a light blush crossing the dark beauty's face. "I take that as a yes."

Their laughter was cut short as they were thrown across the bridge, something having struck them. "Mr. Sulu! What was that?" Kirk shouted, grasping his chair to remain steady.

The ship continued to shake, as Sulu spoke. "I'm not sure sir. Scanners aren't showing anything."

"Mr. Spock!" the Captain called.

"Negative sir. All scanners report that nothing is in our vincinity." the Vulcan stated calmly, holding onto the science station for support.

"I beg to differ!" Athena shouted, the railing behind Spock her place of refuge.

"Agreed Lieutenant." he said, pulling her to their station.

Athena looked up at him, eyes wide and curious as he held her tightly. "How is this logical?" she whispered in Vulcan.

_To keep you from spending more time in sick bay._ He responded telepathicly.

She smiled, despite the continual onslaught upon the ship. "Whatever it is, our shields are holding Sir. No damage reported." Sulu said, turning slightly to see the Captain.

"That's a relief. Is anything showing up on scanners?"

"Negative Captain. Whatever it is, it's impervious to our scans." Chekov said, his Russian accent thick.

"Communications? Anything coming across?"

"No sir." Uhura responded, clingling to the communication panel.

"We can't be under attack by something that isn't there. Are we positive that there is nothing in scanner range?" Kirk asked, his eyes focused on Spock and Athena.

"Sir, I'm looking straight at it, and there's nothing there. Unless..." Athena said, the cogs in her mind turning.

"Unless what Lieutenant?"

She turned in Spock's arm, and looked back at the Captain. "Unless they're out of our scanner range."

Spock looked down at her. "It is possible."

"Mr. Sulu, dead stop!" Kirk shouted, falling from his chair.

As the ship stopped suddenly, Athena kept her eye on the scanner. "There! He's coming up fast on us!"

"We've got 'em!" Sulu said, seeing the ship appear on his scanner.

"Try to hail them Lieutenant." Kirk said, having turned to Uhura.

"Transmission coming in Captain." Uhura stated, her eyes showing how focused she was on it. "It's addressed to Mr. Spock."

"Spock?" Kirk questioned, confused.

"Yes sir. And Athena." Uhura said, turning to look at the two.

"Kafre." Spock muttered.

Athena looked up at him, "It couldn't be."

"Mr. Spock?" Kirk again questioned.

"The alien who tortured the Lieutenant. I believe he may have a personal vendetta against myself and the Lieutanant for the destruction of his race." Spock explained, finally releasing his hold on Athena.

"Destruction of his race?"

"Yes sir. The reason myself, the Lieutenant and the research group on the planet Tantalus VI were taken into custody was to find information on how to end the genocide between the races. Unfortunately, doing so would violate the prime directive, which is why the research group was murdered and the Lieutenant tortured." he said, moving to stand near the Captain.

"But why torture her?"

"To get me to answer." Spock said plainly.

Kirk's eyes squinted, but shook the impossible thought away. "Patch him through Lieutenant."

"Understood sir." Uhura said, pressing the buttons to make it so.

Athena gasped as the vid screen showed Kafre upon it, glaring at them. "I finally found you." he said, a deep growl in his throat.

"What is it you want?" Kirk asked.

"I want the Vulcan and his human female. They must pay for what happened to my race." the alien snarled, his face contorting in anger.

"What happened to your race was not their fault."

"They could have stopped it. They could have!" he shouted, his fists banging on the armrests of his chair.

"Your race was fighting against itself. Nothing I or Lieutenant Romanos could have done would have stopped that." Spock stated, coming into view.

"Don't you mean your Athena?" Kafre snarled, the fangs of his teeth showing.

"I am not his, and he is not mine. You are mistaken." Athena said, walking to stand next to Chekov.

"Then why could I sense his attatchment to you and yours to him? Why do I still sense it?"

Athena felt her mouth become dry, as she had no answer. Spock had quirked his eyebrow, also at a loss for words. Explaining their former relationship was not something either of them wanted to happen before their comrades upon the bridge. "I'm sure you only sense the relationship that happens between shipmates. The fact remains, you cannot blame either of them for the destruction of your home. The fault lies upon you and all upon your planet." Kirk said, realizing the situation was becoming uncomfortable between the Lieutenant and his First Officer.

"No. No, no, no, no, no, no! I did what I could to stop it. I tried. I lost my family. My wife... my daughter..." Kafre said, his words becoming soft. "My daughter was only six cycles old. They came and killed them both in the night."

Athena felt a tear fall from her eyes. "What you endured was horrible Kafre. And I am sorry for the grief it has caused you." she said, moving to stand before the controls.

"I understand what you feel. My father was killed in a similar fashion. To have had it happen to your child is unthinkable. If I could have helped you I would have. But I could do nothing. If you truly wish to make a difference, do what is good. Would your daughter want to know the things you have done since her death? Would she be proud of you?" she questioned, her tears flowing silently as she spoke.

Kafre was silent for a long time, his eyes darting back and forth as he thought. He looked up from his hands, and stared at Athena. "You speak well human. Please forgive me for what I have done to you. I have caused you much pain needlessly."

"You did what you thought was right at the time. I hold nothing against you."

The alien nodded. "Thank you... Athena. I..."

He blinked back his tears. "There is only one thing left to do. I thank you for opening my eyes."

"Kafre... You're not going to..."

She never finished speaking her sentence.

Kafre's ship exploded, ending the race of those who lived on Tantalus VI.

* * *

><p>"So, what do you guys think all that alien's talk about Athena being Spock's was about?" Sulu asked the group, the game of poker dragging on.<p>

"I try not to speculate." Uhura said, her eyes focused on the cards in her hands.

"Come on Uhura. It has to mean something." Scotty pressed, leaning closer to her.

"It may, but we're not going to talk about it during this round. And you're cheating." She said, holding her cards close to her chest.

"You are a stubborn one dearie." he flirted back.

"You only say that because you're losing."

The door to the recreation room opened, Athena running in. "I'm sorry I'm late. I got caught up fixing the science station."

Sulu, Scotty, and Chekov shared a suspicious glance as Uhura delt a new round of cards. "It's about time. These scoundrels have been taking advantage of a lonely lady."

Athena sat next to her friend. "That's probably because you've trounced all of us a dozen times over."

Chekov laughed. "Maybe lady luck has finally switched sides."

"Let's hope so." Sulu added.

The five friends immediately stopped talking as they looked at their cards, intensely focused on keeping their poker faces on. Athena glanced around the table briefly, looking for any flaw in her friends faces. Uhura tucked her hair behind her ear. _She's going to fold._ Chekov slid his cards around each other. _He's got nothing, but is going to try to bluff._ Sulu's left eyebrow twitched. _Mmm... A small hand. Not to worry._ Scotty rolled his eyes. _Bingo. There's my contender this round._

Having played poker together three nights a week for nearly a month helped Athena clue in on their tells, and typically she was spot on. She tended to play hands through, even if she had nothing to see if her suspicions were correct. She allowed herself to smile, a sign that her friends usually took for her to fold, and when she bet, they all were stunned. Scotty checked, Chekov raised, while Uhura and Sulu both folded. "I'm not touching this pot." He said, clasping his hands behind his head.

It was then that Spock entered, his Vulcan lute in hand. "Spock! Will you play for us tonight?" Uhura asked, her mind now no longer focused on the game.

"If it would not disturb your game." he responded, sitting in the empty chair next to Athena.

They agreed, and he began to play a soft tune that had Uhura humming in no time. Chekov folded when Athena upped the stakes again, and Scotty sat, contemplating his next move. His eyes studied the Grecian woman, watching her every move. She raised her eyebrow. "I'm waiting Mr. Scott." she said slyly, the edge of her lips curling into a small mischevious smile.

He glared at her, then laid his cards on the table. Athena widened her eyes in suprise, "Oh Scotty... You didn't." she whispered, her voice sad.

"Oh but I did. Four of a kind dearie." He gloated.

Athena's sad expression turned devilish as she threw her cards over. "Full house engineer."

The table burst into laughter as Scotty slumped in his chair, muttering Scottish curses while Athena raked in her chips. "Thank you, thank you." she said, taking a slight bow.

Spock furrowed his eyebrows, and set the lute down on the floor beside him. "I believe the expression is: 'Deal me in.'" he said, folding his hands on the table.

The group grew silent in suprise, but Athena smiled. _About time._ She delt the cards, waiting to make her move. Spock called, Sulu instantly folded, Uhura raised, and Chekov and Scotty met the bet. Athena kept her eyes on the Vulcan, watching his every move, to see if he had any sort of tell. Spock again raised the pot, and all chipped in again. The next round, when he raised once more, all but Athena folded. The two faced each other, watching for signs of weakness. "I feel like we're watching one of those old horror vids." Chekov whispered.

"Afraid somethings going to pop out of Mr. Spock's stomach?" Sulu jeered.

"More like afraid Athena will rip his head off if he doesn't move soon."

The table laughed, but was cut short as Spock laid his cards down. "It's a flush!" Chekov exclaimed.

Athena raised her eyebrow as she kept her eyes on the cards. "I thought you were bluffing." she said.

Spock remained silent, waiting to see her cards. "Fortunately," she said, laying her cards down one at a time, "I wasn't."

Pandemonium swept over the four spectators as they realized she had a royal flush. "I never bluff. Especially where you're concerned." he said, his words foreign to their audience.

"Hey now, I think it's bad manners to speak unfamiliar languages in company." Scotty interrupted.

Athena laughed. "Well folks, I'd rather not test lady luck tonight. I'm gonna go back to my quarters and have some relaxation time."

The group said their goodbyes, as she left the room. Shortly thereafter, Spock left, leaving the original four. "Something's going on there." Sulu said, dealing the cards.

"Only in your mind." Uhura said, her arm wrapped around Scotty's.

* * *

><p>The hot water from the showerhead poured down Athena's back, helping to relax her taught muscles. All the jostling around on the bridge wasn't exactly the best exercise in the world. A groan escaped her lips as she began massaging one of her shoulders. <em>That's going to hurt for a while.<em>.. she thought, the tenderness of a few spots that were beginning to bruise beneath her fingertips. She noticed too that where Spock had gripped her waist, several small bruises marked her skin. _I am so grateful we haven't had much turbulence. I don't think my complexion could handle it..._

She turned the water off, her mind flowing back to the vids he had given her. As she dried off and slid into a black tank top and shorts, she wondered what her next step was going to be. She knew she needed time to process everything he said, but she couldn't let her mind wonder for too long. _Spock is a very private person, even when we were together. For him to have said all he did is not an easy thing for him to share. And as for what he didn't say..._

Athena stopped walking from her bathroom to her main room as her thought died in her mind. Still clutching the towel she had been using to dry her curly locks, she slumped against the wall. "Everything he didn't say..." she whispered, her head leaning back.

A long sigh escaped her, and she closed her eyes as she thought.

_Why must it be so difficult to be able to express how he feels?_

_The fact alone that he shared these vids with me is proof enough he cares for me..._

_But the fact that he didn't fully share how he feels proves that he still hasn't decided if being with me is logical._

_I wish this pain would go away._

_He makes me feel so special to him, but then I have to remember that he can't love me._

_I thought I had learned this five years ago._

_My thoughts continue to go back to him. Sitting there, crying, sobbing, telling me how he wishes he could tell me..._

_If he is able to degenerate that far, why is it he cannot tell me what I long to hear? What I can see he wants to say?_

_Maybe we were better off the way we were._

_Uncomplicated._

_Uninvolved._

_Unobtrusive._

_Unloved._

_And there I go again. Returning back to love._

_Getting knocked down and beaten up all over again._

_I don't know how much longer I can handle this confusion..._

_Everyday this continues to get harder and harder._

_My love for him grows stronger and stronger._

_And he grows further and further away from me._

_Because he has to._

_He has to be logical._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Howdy! Here's the next installment. Please leave me a review to let me know what you think, I'd really love to hear it!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Past, Present, Future**

**Written by: Lysi Marie**

**Chapter Six**

_A cool breeze flowed through the night air, brushing the dark curls against Athena's face. She sat at the end of a dock, her legs dangling above the water as she gripped the soft blanket around her shoulders. The tears had stopped falling, but emptiness still filled every fiber of her being. She remembered her mother having sat beside her for the better half of the day, but now, as the moon rose from the horizon, the young woman sat alone, her misery settling deep within her heart._

_The news of her father's death shocked her, filled her with sadness, but nothing prepared her for his final message to her. She still held the holo in her hand, gripping it tightly, as though if she let it go, it would fly away. She had yet to watch it, not ready for the pain it would further inflict._

_This dock was the place he would bring her to fish when she was young. She brought him here to tell him of her choice in joining Star Fleet. He brought her her to tell her he was heading out on a research trip not more than a year ago. It was their place. He taught her so many things here on this old rickety dock, that it only felt right to sit here as she mourned him._

_Footsteps in the distance that she felt rather than heard alerted her that she was not alone. Athena kept her gaze fixed upon the horizon, her face void of emotion._

_She briefly glanced to her right to see the black polished boots of the one person she wished would come. As he sat beside her, allowing his own legs to swing from the edge of the dock, Athena let a sigh of relief escape her lips. Without speaking, she pulled the holo out from beneath her blanket, and handed it to Spock. "You have not watched it?" he asked, more statement than question._

_Shaking her head, she moved closer to him. She kept her eyes distant, not able to watch her father speak to her. The illumination of the holo lit up the two bodies, and Athena couldn't stop the small tears that began to fall._

_"Athena..."_

_Quiet sobs racked her body, and before she could stop herself, she fell against Spock, who had shut off the holo. Darkness enfolded around them, as the sounds of Athena's sobs surrounded them. Spock wrapped an arm around her, holding her tightly. He waited to come to her, knowing she needed time alone. Hearing her father's voice was too much, which he should have known. A few moments passed, before she lifted herself out from his side, her eyes red and puffy. She sniffled several times, not brave enough to look him in the eye. "I... I can do this." she whispered, touching the holo that rested in Spock's hand._

_The holo lit up, Athena's father standing before them._

_"Athena... My little Athena." the holo said, the strong Greek accent of her father so perfectly floating through the air._

_"Hi da." she whispered._

_"I don't know what will cause you to hear this message, other than I am no longer with you. But just because my physcal body is gone doesn't mean I'm not with you Athena. I'll always be there."_

_"I know."_

_"I love you little one. I am sorry I wasn't able to be around very much, but now that you're on your way into Star Fleet, you know how difficult it can be to raise a family."_

_"I know da. I never blamed you." she whispered, reaching out to the holo still in Spock's hand._

_"The day you were born, I was stationed on a starship hundreds of light years away. When I finally met you, you had already learned to walk. You walked right up to me, took my hand, and led me to some of your toys."_

_The man laughed. "You made me play dolls with you. Your mother told me later that you knew who I was, because she kept holos of me and played them for you every day."_

_"I remember those." she said to Spock, leaning her head to rest on his shoulder._

_"When I tucked you into bed that night, you looked right up at me, and said your very first word."_

_"Da." Athena and the holo whispered at the same moment._

_"I imagine you're sitting on our dock right now. That's actually where I'm standing, saying all these words. I'm about to tell you I'm leaving for a mission, and won't be back to see you graduate. I'll always be sorry to miss that."_

_Athena felt her tears increase, remembering that day, and wishing her father were here now, instead of..._

_"Da..."_

_"I am so proud of you little one. You are doing so well. Even better than that Vulcan did."_

_Spock hummed in approval._

_"I love you Athena. Never forget that."_

_Silent tears fell from her blue eyes, "Thanks da."_

_The holo flickered, and it was obvious something had been added to the message later on. Her father was dressed in different clothes, and his surroundings that were shown revealed some unknown planet._

_"And Athena... Tell Spock to be good to you."_

_Instantly, Athena stared up at the man beside her, her tears stopped, and eyes wide. "How?"_

_"I told him." Spock said, the holo switching off by itself._

_Confusion and disbelief filled her mind. "Why?"_

_He gently pressed his lips to her forehead. "It seemed logical at the time."_

* * *

><p>The bedroom was dark, it's inhabitant lying on the bed. Her eyes were closed, and a small object was clutched between her hand and her heart. It had been seven years since her father's sudden death. Out researching on some planet, he was the only one of his party to be killed in his sleep. The rest were taken alive by the savage population to be sacrificed. Only one survived, and she had to leave Star Fleet and live in a Mental Health Institution. Despite the difficulty of enduring her father's gruesome death, Athena was grateful he hadn't survived the ordeal, not knowing if seeing him live his life within the confines of a cell screaming from the nightmares would truly be better.<p>

When her buzzer rang, she sighed. Today was one of her days off, and the only person who would be seeking her out, other than Uhura would be Spock. And he was on the top of her list of people she didn't want to see today. Hoping it was Uhura, she spoke. "Come in."

"Lieutenant Romanos."

Athena felt her eyes roll to her forehead before she could stop them. "Yes Spock?" she asked, not rolling over to see him.

An uncomfortable silence fell between them, as Spock's mind pieced the situation together. "It was today." he said, his hands crossed behind his back.

"Seven years." she whispered.

"I am sorry for having intruded."

It was then that she turned to see him. Her eyes showed confusion, but she allowed it to pass. "Thank you. I'll be fine for duty tomorrow. Just needed a personal day for... recooperation."

He nodded, but didn't turn to leave. Athena finally asked a question she'd been curious about for years. "Why'd you tell him?"

It was obvious he was taken by suprise from her question, but only Athena would have noticed the slight change in his demeanor. "I respected your father. I did not know when he would return and I wished to have his permission before I courted you. Especially considering our situation."

"What did he say?"

Spock raised his eyebrows. "I believe he used the phrase: 'Go for it.'"

Athena laughed. "That's my da." she said, sitting up from her bed.

She crossed the space to stand before him, and grasped his hand. "Thank you for stopping by. I needed a little lightness today."

He nodded, and turned to leave. "Do not forget he is still with you... Little one."

As Spock left the room, he didn't see the smile that lit up Athena's face.

* * *

><p>Despite the sad beginning to the day, Athena felt happy as she hurried from her room to Uhura's. She received a message when Uhura's date with Scotty ended but mere moments ago. As she rushed, Spock was exiting his quarters, intrigued to see the Lieutenant moving at the late hour. "In a hurry... Cadet?" he spoke, Vulcan words his choice of language.<p>

Athena stopped in her tracks, remembering the first time he said that to her. She turned slowly, her heart beating deeply within her chest. She had yet to speak with him concerning the vid messages, and knew it was weighing heavily upon his mind. Fidgeting with her curls, she walked back to him, not knowing what she was going to say. "I'm not trying to delay the inevitable, I just need time Spock. You said so much, and yet you didn't say anything." she whispered, grateful the hall was empty.

Spock nodded, "I understand."

"I'm sorry, but I've got a huge paper to turn in, and if I'm late, a certain Vulcan will have my head." she said, her eyes mischevious.

"I believe you ended up passing that class."

Athena rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but I failed that paper." she said, turning to walk away.

"Being fair is only logical." he said, again in Vulcan.

She turned her head to face him. "I'm grateful."

* * *

><p>"A what?" Athena asked, her arms grasping a velvet pillow.<p>

"A bet." Uhura replied.

"About what?" Christine Chapel queried, her own curiosity piqued.

Uhura rolled her eyes. "I believe that be all you'd get outta me tonight dearie." she said, imitating Scotty's accent.

The women laughed, but Athena remembered that bets between the Captain, Scotty and McCoy usually involved Spock. "I did find out the prize."

"Oooo. Tell, tell." the blonde nurse pushed, wanting more of the juicy details.

"An entire month's shore leave. They each pitched in."

Athena groaned. "I would so love to be in on that."

"I can only imagine. Working with Spock has got to be difficult." Uhura said, a little bit of wine loosening her tongue further.

The brunette laughed. "It definately has it's moments."

"You are the luckiest girl on this ship, you do know that?" Christine added.

Athena sensed a subtle hint of jealousy. "I'm grateful I was given the opportunity to work with one of the most brilliant minds Star Fleet has to offer."

"You know that's not what I meant." she said, a laugh accompanying her words.

Athena smiled. Maybe it would be better to let a little weight off her shoulders. "I will admit, the view can be quite nice at times. Especially when I'm not the one at the scanner."

The two women laughed, agreeing with the young lieutenant. "Didn't you have him as an instructor during part of your years at the academy?" Uhura asked.

Athena nodded. "It was the most difficult class I had my entire time there. I failed so many papers. I think I was a little too concerned seeing if I could get him to show emotion at any turn than in physics." she joked, a little truth to her words.

"Oh, we've all done that." Christine said, taking a sip of her wine. "I'm guilty more than most."

Uhura leaned closer to Athena. "Someone's a little hot for Vulcan."

Christine blushed. "Yeah, well I'm not the only one." she defended.

Athena felt a bit of jealousy creep into her, but pushed it aside. "I think it's the possibility of the impossible that draws women to him." she said, her finger tracing the rim of her glass.

"It's totally his butt." Christine said bluntly, an uproar of laughter filling the room.

"That too, I'm sure." Athena added, sipping her wine. "And Scotty, that accent? Mmm-mmm." she added, wanting the subject to be off of Spock.

Uhura giggled. "Well, my personal tastes are a little bit closer to home."

Christine quirked an eyebrow. "Spock's half human. There's nothing wrong with being involved with someone not from Earth."

"Oh, I never implied that, just that I'm not completely attracted to the... devil's eyes and ears." she said, her wine further affecting her speech.

"I find them hot." Christine defended, her own level of alcohol blunting her words.

Athena realized that there was no way Spock was going to leave their conversation. It only further pressed in her mind what she needed to do and how much longer she was procrastinating. She became deafened to their continuing arguement, her mind flowing back to the vids. He was so vulnerable yet hardened. And weak but strong. It was so obvious his Vulcan and Human halves were at war with each other. Logic had been his way of life for so long, she knew from the beginning that he would never truly be able to express his feelings for her. But now? Logic was beginning to slightly crack for the first time in his life, and it worried Athena. It could easily be the undoing of him. The time for her to speak was rapidly approaching, but Athena had no idea just what she was going to say. If she could even say anything at all.

"Is she okay?" Christine asked, leaning over to Uhura.

"I think it's the wine. I kept refilling her glass when she wasn't looking."

"That's probably why the ship is spinning."

* * *

><p>When Athena awoke, she felt her head ache, her muscles tense, and her stomach quench in agony. "Oh, I'm going to kill Uhura." she groaned, sitting up from her comfortable bed.<p>

The buzzer rang, nearly throwing Athena to the floor. "Not so loud please." she whispered, moving to the door.

When she opened it, she couldn't believe her eyes. "Mom?"

The Admiral stood before her daughter, her look not quite as joyful as it had been. "You were out late last night weren't you?"

"Blame Uhura." Athena groaned, leading her mom into her quarters.

Amelia laughed, and hugged her daugher in the privacy of the small room. "I've missed you little one." she said, holding her tightly.

"Missed you too mom. Yesterday was... difficult." she admitted, holding her mom's hand as they sat at the desk.

"It was. I didn't have a moment to myself, but before I went to bed, I was able to have a few words to your da."

"I watched the holo he left me. I do it every year. I miss his voice the most."

"And his terrible jokes."

The two laughed. "Da always knew how to ruin a funny joke."

"But his hugs were the best."

"Oh, those giant bear hugs. Always made the worst day ever so so much better."

Amelia's green eyes grew sad, reaching across the table to caress her daughers cheek. "And his eyes. I'm so glad you got them. They were so full of love. Just like yours are."

Athena smiled softly, "Da used to tell me stories. About how you two met. When I was born. He always regretted not being there when I was born."

"I told him he was there with us. Your blue eyes only proved it. He was so full of life. Always energetic and moving."

Athena nodded. "He always had a project too. In additon to his work. Remember that year he spent building a radio controlled starship? That thing flew two feet and then crashed."

Her mother laughed. "The man was a scientific genius. Yet he coudn't put anything together to save his life."

"And he was so, so laid back. You'd suggest something and he'd say, 'Well, go for it!' or 'Why aren't you doing it now?'"

"That's what made me fall in love with him. My family was so scheduled and restricted. Your da showed me life didn't have to be that way. I was so amazed."

Athena's smile grew. Then she became serious. "I highly doubt Star Command sent you to the Enterprise to have a heart to heart with me about da."

Amelia sighed. "Unfortunately no. But I wanted to see you. And Mr. Spock suggested I come here before reporting in with him."

The small smile upon the young woman's face did not go unnoticed by her mother. Amelia kept her thoughts to herself, and stood from the desk. "I should probably go. I'm glad we were able to spend a little time together."

"Me too mom. Thanks."

The two hugged once more before the Admiral left her daughter's quarters. Despite their distant relationship, Athena was glad they'd begun to grow together. They were all each other had anymore.

* * *

><p>"This assignment is to be completely confidential Mr. Spock. Before I begin, I must be assured of your discretion." Amelia began.<p>

"Admiral, I do not see why I need be insulted. I am highly aware of how confidential assignments work."

Amelia smiled. "I apologise Mr. Spock. Let me be direct. This mission, if it ends in failure, will result in your death. The Federation will not be able to claim any knowledge of this mission, and you will be left alone in enemy territory."

Spock's eyebrow raised. "I see."

"You are being asked to infiltrate Romulan Space to recover a prototype. It enables a single person to become invisible for brief periods of time, resulting in a perfect weapon to unleash against any unsuspecting person." the Admiral explained.

"A miniature version of their cloaking device?"

"It appears that way. Impossible to imagine harnessing that much power into something so small, but our intel has been confirmed several times over for the Federation to be worried."

"And I am being asked because of a Vulcans close appearance to Romulans."

"Precisely. You are our first option. If you decline for whatever reason you may have, which is an option, we have a list of several volunteers that are willing to undergo a procedure to alter their appearance so they may look Romulan."

"Yes, the Captain did that once before on our mission to claim the cloaking device."

Amelia nodded. "I briefly remember hearing about that. However, because of the vast importance of this device, it is under heavy guard and will be difficult to obtain."

"I understand Admiral." Spock said, his arms resting on the table.

"Then you accept your mission?"

The Vulcan was silent as he thought through the mission, knowing it would be difficult. "There is one detail you seem to have left out Admiral."

Amelia was taken aback. How could she have forgotten something about a mission Spock had no information about before seeing her? "And that is?" she asked, completely confused.

"Your daugher must accompany me. As part of her duties to Star Fleet, she has been tasked with being by my side for every mission I am assigned to in addition to our work on board the Enterprise." he informed her, his tone flat.

The Admiral fell back into her chair. Her own daughter... "Athena?" she whispered, barely believing her ears.

"I understand it will be a difficult mission and the stakes are very high. But the Lieutenant will know the stakes before I make my final decision. I will speak with her at length until she has made her choice, and then I will make my final decision with her preference in mind." Spock explained.

Amelia looked back up at him. She smiled, "Thank you Mr. Spock. You're dismissed. I shall remain on board the Enterprise until you have made your choice. If it is in the positive, I shall remain until your return."

"The Lieutenant will most likely be interested in this news as well." Spock said, standing from the desk.

* * *

><p>"Do you realise what you're asking me to do?"<p>

"I am merely asking for your opinion."

"This is insanity! A mission where if failed, we are left at the discretion of Romulans? What could possibly be worth that? Oh, I know, a device that we're not even one hundred percent sure exists!" Athena shouted, her anger fueling her words.

Spock remained silent.

"And how are we supposed to get there and back undetected? A Romulan ship? Because we won't get very far in anything else!"

As Athena paced her room, Spock merely stood against a wall, arms crossed. Knowing her as well as he did, she would rant and rave about the stupidity and danger involved and then want more details. _Always so emotional._

"And don't even get me started on the fact that you're the most logical candidate. Of course you are! I mean, Vulcans and Romulans, they're pretty much the same anymore right? How can we even tell them apart? Maybe Spock will put his neck on the line for the Federation once again and further prove his value to us all! How can they even expect you to accept this?"

He quirked an eyebrow and opened his mouth to answer, but Athena continued to rant.

"This is rediculous. I can't believe my own mother would agree that something like this would be even wise. And if I go with you, there's an even bigger possibility that we'll be discovered. And don't give me the exact numbers Spock, it's not going to help matters."

Spock's mouth closed. Athena was slightly beginning to wind down, her mind finally working through the emotions. She stopped to stand before him, hands clasped behind her back. "Well, now that I've given you my full and complete emotional opinion, I'm sure you'd like to hear what the rest of me is thinking."

He nodded. "That would be most welcome."

Athena smiled. "I think we should do it."

_That was unexpected..._

"It'll be an adventure, and even though the concequences will be severe... This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to be able to really help the Federation." she continued, her pacing resuming.

"There will be a considerate amount of danger." Spock warned.

She turned and gave him a skeptical look. "We're Star Fleet. When is danger _not _involved?"

"Valid point." he agreed.

"Just..." Athena sighed. "My mother is going to flip."

"Flip? Your mother is an acrobat?"

A loud laugh escaped Athena. "I think I would pay money to see that. I mean my mother is going to be extremely worried and upset."

"She is an Admiral. It should not come as a surprise that her daugher would accept such a mission. It should give her a feeling of... Pride I believe."

Sighing, Athena moved to her door. "She's my mother first Spock. Believe me, I may have to use an arguement my da perfected."

"Which is?"

"Federation first, Family second."

* * *

><p>Amelia felt her world crumble beneath her feet. "Athena, the Federation will have to abandon you if you fail. You realize this?"<p>

"Mom, don't make me-."

"You're the only thing I've got left Athena. I can't lose you."

Athena closed her eyes, waiting for the right moment.

"Your da would never have agreed to this."

Blue eyes shot wide, rage filling them. "You know very well da would be supporting me. You must be an admiral first, mother second right now. It is my duty to the Federation to accompany Mr. Spock on this mission which will only prepare me for more that I may have to conduct on my own. I cannot be coddled throughout my career just because you want to protect me! I am twenty-four years old, on my first assignment, and I've been asked to shadow one of the best Star Fleet has to offer. And now you want to take that away from me! This was something you wished for me to have and you want to end it for fear I won't come back. Well I've got news for you, if you wanted me to be safe all the time, you shouldn't have let me join Star Fleet!"

The admiral sat back in her chair, astounded by her daughter's outburst. The room sat silent for a time, waiting to see what was going to happen. "Lieutenant Athena Romanos;" her mother began, "You are to join Mr. Spock on his mission to Romulus should he accept. It is of utmost importance that you succeed, for if you do not, the Federation will be forced to abandon you and you will be at the mercy of the Romulan Empire."

Athena stood tall. "Thank you Admiral Romanos. I will not disappoint you."

"See that you do not."

Upon Athena and Spock's departure, Captain Kirk turned to face the Admiral. "I'm sorry Admiral. That couldn't have been easy."

Amelia kept her eyes fixed on the door her daughter just walked through. "It never is easy to send your child on a mission they may not come back from. But it is even more difficult to have your child remind you that duty comes first, family second." She turned to face the Captain. "She is so much like her da."

"She certainly is."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Here's Chapter 6! Thanks again for your reviews!


	7. Chapter 7

**Past, Present, Future**

**Written by: Lysi Marie**

**Chapter Seven**

_The knock on the door alerted the man that she was here. At his apartment. In the dead of night. Spock wondered what was so important that couldn't wait until morning, but he had agreed to tutor her whenever she needed it. When he opened the door, her smiling face could have easily lit up the night, as well as his cold heart. "Evening Mr. Spock! I hope you don't mind me coming over so late." she said, walking past him into the apartment._

_"Of course not." he replied, the door slowly closing, confining the two completely alone._

_She turned to face him, her smile now faded and her tone of voice serious. "I have a favor to ask."_

_He tilted his head in forged curiosity, a trait he had picked up from her. "Which would be?"_

_"Will you be willing to help me with an experiment of mine? It has to be completely confidential and if at any moment you wish to not continue you may do so." she said, her hands behind her back._

_Spock considered the strange proposition, but knew Athena would never ask him to do something that he would feel obliged to do. "I believe that would be possible."_

_The corner of her mouth turned up in a small smile. "I was hoping you would say that." she whispered, moving closer to him._

_As Athena's lips pressed against his own, Spock realized what her experiment was. A secret relationship together. Logic screamed for him to push her away and refuse, but something within him changed. Instead, he placed one hand upon the small of her back, and pulled her closer. Spock deepened their kiss, proving not only to Athena that he wanted this, but to himself._

* * *

><p>"You've got to be kidding me."<p>

"I do not 'kid'."

Athena rolled her eyes, and walked to the small shuttle, inspecting it. "They're making us travel to Romulus... in a shuttlecraft? What are we stupid?"

"There are further instructions that will be explained later on in our mission Lieutenant." Spock said, crossing his arms.

"Oh great. Let me guess, I get to be some slave girl dressed provocatively while you have to force yourself to paw at me." she said, her head tilting.

"Not quite."

She sighed in relief. "Thank God for that much."

Spock raised his eyebrow, but lowered it before she noticed. "Well, when do we have to meet McCoy?" she asked, turning away from the shuttle.

"In approximately two hours."

"Then I'm hitting the pub." she said, walking past him.

"Is that truly wise?" Spock queried, following the Lieutenant.

She stopped walking, and laughed. "Spock, I'm about to go on a mission that very well may end in my death. If I want to have a beer before I go, I'm going to."

Spock considered this, nodded, then continued to follow her. "I believe I shall join you."

Upon reaching the local pub on the space station, Athena took a seat near a window, as Spock walked to the bar. He returned, two bottles in hand. "I thought you didn't drink." she said, accepting her beer.

"I don't." he said, revealing the label.

"Vulcan tea. I didn't know they had it here. I should get some when we return."

"I could always brew some for you. It tastes considerably better fresh than bottled." he added, taking a swig.

She smiled. "It's a date."

His eyebrow raised, as Athena shrugged. "Figure of speech." she muttered, filling her mouth with the amber liquid.

Athena glanced around the pub, and noticed that they sat well away from the other patrons. She looked up from the table, and leaned forward. "What made you think that our being together was wise?" she asked, her voice a bare whisper in Vulcan.

Spock was taken aback slightly, and broke eye contact, focusing on the stars outside the window beside them. "It was... Highly illogical at the time."

She smiled and wished she could reach out to touch him. "I agree. It was completely illogical, insanely fun, and without a doubt the best two years of my life."

"And mine."

Small tears formed in Athena's blue eyes, grateful to have heard those words. "You don't know what that means to me." she said, shaking her head.

He nodded, and returned his gaze to the stars. Athena's small tears were the only object he knew of in the universe that hold the power to illicit an emotional response without hesitation. "They're beautiful, aren't they?" she asked, resting her head on her hand.

"Indeed. And we have yet to visit them all."

Athena felt her lips form a smile, as her eyes focused on a star far far away. "You see that star? The blue one, twinkling off in the distance?" she asked, pointing straight at it.

He nodded. "That's my star." she said, her smile growing. "When I was little, I would dream that I would live there. With a man who loved me. Away from Star Fleet. Away from the problems of life. As I grew older, I dreamed I would explore it, document it, and learn all I could about it. Then when I joined Star Fleet and met you... I dreamt I would be there forever. Hidden away in space. Together with you. No one to find us. And then... Then I wished I could go there just to be alone. To get away from the memories. Some days I find myself still wishing that."

Spock watched her face turn from innocent happiness to deep sadness. Within him, his logical mind was battling with his heart to act. Finally, his heart won out. "I wish to... apologize for causing you that grief."

Athena's eyes shot to him. He had only apologized to her on several occasions, but never for their past. She glanced down at her beer, and decided that she had enough. "Thank you. I should go prepare for our departure."

As she nearly ran from the pub, Spock wondered just what their mission would further uncover and if he could continue to keep his emotions in check.

* * *

><p>McCoy stood back from the young woman, amazed at how different she looked. If he didn't know better, he'd have believed she was Vulcan. A smile lit up her face as he continued to stare in silence. "You're making me blush Doc." she said, gently fiddling with the end of her braid.<p>

"You should have been born on Vulcan Athena. You're a vision." he replied, his southern drawl emphasizing his words.

Athena's look turned suspicious. "You hate Vulcans." she added, a glare crossing her blue eyes.

"Hate is such a strong word. I prefer sincerely dislike. But you, Miss Athena, you would have completely changed my tune."

She laughed as the door swooshed open, Captain Kirk, Spock, and her mother entering the Med Bay. Spock's hidden expression of awe was lost to all except Athena. She too hid her shy smile, determined to discuss their situation as they traveled. They finally were going to be completely alone, unable to be interrupted, and fully able to talk as they traveled to the Neutral Zone. The only thing that weighed heavily on her mind was the fact that they could easily be caught. Who knew what Romulan punishment was?

"Oh... Little one." her mother breathed, pulling Athena from her thoughts.

"McCoy is quite good." she said, blue eyes shining.

"Indeed. You could easily pass as Vulcan, should you be able to keep your emotions in check." Spock added.

"I believe that is the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Mr. Spock."

Despite knowing that was far from the truth, Spock remained silent. Kirk turned to McCoy, concern knitting his eyebrows together. "Shouldn't you do some work on Spock, Bones? That mission we did could have exposed him to the Romulans."

"Highly improbable Captain. But unfortunately, I am not at liberty to explain why just yet." Spock explained.

Athena grew concerned for Spock's safety, but would raise her worry later. "I believe your ship is due to leave soon. Are the two of you prepared for this? There's no turning back once you board." The admiral asked, grasping her daughter's hand.

"I'm ready. I'd just like a moment or two alone with you." Athena said, gently squeezing her mother's hand.

"Of course. Take your time, and we shall meet you at the docking bay." Kirk replied, following the other two gentlemen out.

Athena sighed heavily, her eyes closing briefly. Nerves began to rack her body, and her stomach turned. "Mom..." she began, taking both of the Admiral's hands in her own." I know we haven't always been close... And that's mostly my fault."

Amelia felt small tears form in her eyes. "But before I leave," Athena continued, "I needed you to know that despite the way I've acted, treated you and the things that I have said..."

A lump grew in Athena's throat, but she persevered. "I have always been proud to call you Mom."

Amelia's tears overflowed as she pulled her daughter close. "I love you." she whispered.

"I love you too Mom."

"I'm sorry I wasn't always there for you. Especially when your Da died."

Athena pulled back to see her mother's face. "You were mourning the loss of your husband. I never held that against you."

The Admiral gently caressed her daughter's face, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I've never been more proud of you than I am right now. You've grown into such a wonderful young woman. And a talented officer."

A smile lit up Athena's tear stained face. "Thanks Mom. I promise I'll be back soon. Spock and I won't let you down."

"I know. Because if you do, I'll personally kill Spock."

The two laughed as they embraced once more.

* * *

><p>Despite the intense details of the mission Spock relayed to Athena, she found herself growing somewhat excited about visiting the Romulan homeworld. As she sat next to Spock, she wished that she could force herself to speak to him. It was the perfect opportunity, and she was letting it slip through her fingers. She stared at her hands, watching them fiddle with each other, as she fought with herself to speak up. The Vulcan beside her knew what she wanted to speak about, mainly because he too wished to talk about things. However, as they were traveling on a mission, it seemed highly illogical to discuss their past and possible future. Athena didn't know it, but the probability that they would succeed was considerably high. He glanced over at her, and decided to do something to calm her. "Lieutenant, you need not be so... I believe it would be called nervous."<p>

She rolled her eyes. "Spock, you don't need to be so... I believe I would call it condescending."

His eyes squinted in thought. "I do not believe I am acting superior. Or patronizing you."

She turned in her chair to face him. "Really? You know as well as I do that you know you are. You feel that you are superior to me because you're some kind of robot that only shows he has emotions when no one else is looking. I saw the way you looked at me earlier. Don't deny the fact you found me highly attractive once McCoy made me look like one of your people."

"I deny nothing." he said, stopping her rant.

Athena kept her eyes level with his, looking for any crack he might let slip. Spock closed his eyes, rationalizing what he was about to do. "I have always found you to be the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. When I saw you dressed the way you are, in the garb of my people, I realized that. It is intensely illogical for me to think these things, let alone admit them. The only reason I am is because you have some power over me that can force logic to the side."

Her eyes fell, landing upon her hands that rested in her lap. She felt ashamed for calling him out and forcing him to admit things he can barely comprehend. When his hand landed upon hers, she jumped slightly, gazing back up at him. "We will discuss this further when we return to the Enterprise." he said, gently pressing her hands between his own.

She nodded, and smiled weakly. "I'm sorry." she whispered.

Spock quirked his head, but before he could respond, Athena interrupted him. "Just accept it. I know you find it illogical, but please."

He acquiesced, and returned to the controls of the shuttle. "We have nearly arrived at the neutral zone. I see the patrolling Federation ship."

"Time for some fun." she said, a mischievous grin filling her features. "I've always wanted to out run a star ship."

Spock glanced at her, his eyebrows raised. "What?" she asked, shrugging her shoulders. "I have."

"Completely illogical." he said, shaking his head.

Athena laughed, and began making the preparations. As she did so, they began receiving a hail from the ship, asking for identification and authority for use of a Federation shuttle. The young lieutenant muted the console, her fingers deftly sweeping over the instruments. "They should be getting a call from my mother that our ship is stolen property... and... Ah, there we go. Increasing speed to maximum, and we will be crossing the neutral zone in... 7... 6... 5..."

"I believe they are preparing the tractor beam."

"We'll be out of range in 3... 2... 1... And we are in the neutral zone. Mother will inform them to stop the chase and we are home free."

Spock watched the scanner, and nodded in agreement. "They are pulling back. So far, we are progressing according to plan."

"Well, that's good."

The small shuttlecraft suddenly rocked to and fro. "Seems our Romulan friends have found us." Athena added, returning to her seat.

"Indeed."

Athena answered the hail, allowing Spock to speak to the commanding officer of the Romulan ship. "I am Commander S'anra. You are violating the peace treaty by crossing the neutral zone. Surrender or be exterminated."

"We understand the severity of the situation. My companion and I have crossed the neutral zone to join you and your kind." Spock said his head bowed in respect.

The Romulan commander raised her eyebrows. "You will be transported aboard and placed in custody until further notice. You realize that it is improbable you will reach our home world."

"If it is what you wish." Spock said, ending the transmission.

"From now on, speak only in Vulcan."

Athena nodded and prepared herself to hide all emotion.

* * *

><p>The bench she lied on was cold, hard, and entirely uncomfortable. Despite that, Athena found herself drifting in and out of sleep waiting for Spock's arrival. He had left with two guards at his side to speak privately with the commander. Athena scowled at the thought of that tart. The way she looked at Spock made her blood boil and her heart beat with jealousy. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Athena placed her arms underneath her head, and closed her eyes. Faking meditation was easy, unless you managed to fall asleep, and nearly roll on the floor.<p>

A beep alerted Athena, and masking her curiosity began to become a chore. She managed to open one eye, and upon seeing that it was Spock, she closed it, pretending to return to her meditations. "T'Sari, join me in meditation." he said, sitting on the floor.

Athena moved, getting used to her Vulcan name. She sat in front of him, and placed her hands against his. Speaking telepathically was the only way they could discuss the mission, even though Athena couldn't speak back. She closed her eyes, and calmed her mind to avoid exhibiting emotion.

_We will arrive at Romulus in several hours. At which point, I will be taken before the science team working on the portable cloaking device. I have been given clearance due to some Federation secrets I released. Do not be concerned, they are quite old and outdated. Fortunately, the Romulans have no way of telling. You will be escorted to an apartment that is being prepared for our arrival. They believe us to be husband and wife who have grown tired of the Vulcan way of life and wish to become Romulan. The Commander, our spy, has assured me of your safety and that we will return in two weeks. Do not forget that my name is no longer Spock, but Segik._

Mentally, Athena nodded, and removed her hands from Spock's. She kept her eyes closed, and rested her hands upon her knees. The two sat in meditations, Spock entering a deep meditation, while Athena tried to relax her nerves and calm the feeling of desire that was forming deep within her.

* * *

><p>Resting her arms on the balcony's railing, Uhura gazed at the stars before her. Tonight had been perfect. Scotty had treated her to a delicious meal and an old movie showing on the space station. They walked to the garden center, and as Scotty went to grab them each a drink, Uhura wondered about until she found the balcony she now stood on. She heard his footsteps come near, and smiled shyly. The way he made her feel was undeniable. "You put all these flowers to shame, dearie." he said, handing her a small glass of wine.<p>

"You're only trying to butter me up so I let you win at poker next time." she teased, taking a sip.

"Ah, cut to the quick!" Scotty grasped his heart with his free hand. "Thank the good lord for scotch." he said, lifting the glass to his lips.

Uhura giggled as her eyes became mischievous. "You still haven't told me what that bet is all about."

Scotty coughed, having breathed too quickly after taking a drink of scotch. "Dearie," he rasped, "I thought you had forgotten about that."

She smiled wickedly. "I'm a woman. We never forget something juicy."

"Well, if you promise to keep it a vast secret, I'll tell ye."

Uhura nodded, and came close to her man. "I promise." she said, gently kissing him.

"Well if that ain't a guarantee, I don't know what is." Scotty said, lifting his drink in a toast.

"Romantic moment ruined." Uhura giggled, swirling her wine in the glass.

"I shall make up for it."

"You better. Now spill! I'm much too curious for my own good."

"I don't know any woman who isn't. But that's beside the point. Well my dear, the Captain, McCoy and I have been betting about Mr. Spock again."

Uhura rolled her eyes. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Because I haven't told you the reason. McCoy believes there's some past to Lieutenant Romanos and the Vulcan."

Confusion crossed her face. "There is. Athena was a student of Mr. Spock's."

"A bit more than that, is what McCoy is implying."

Uhura's mouth opened in surprise. "Why would he even guess that?"

"I dunno. Which is why I've bet completely against it. And the captain is our neutral party."

"Captain Kirk... is neutral about this?"

"Aye, it surprised me as well, but I can't blame the man. He's the only man I know of who considers Spock his closest friend, so naturally, he wouldn't want to think his friend bent the rules. Especially for a fling with a cadet."

Uhura felt her mind spin with the information, and felt some holes of information begin to fill themselves. She mentally shook the thoughts away, not wanting to think differently of her friend. But something within her told her that McCoy was on to something.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I know, I'm so so late... And I really don't have an excuse for the delay, except for forgetting my thumbdrive when I wanted to update. The future chapters may be a little delayed as well, seeing as I've been really busy and haven't gotten to write them. But I haven't abandoned this story, nor will I until I finish it! Thanks for all the reviews and favorites! Have a happy fall!


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